unearth

New lines at every age

2011-06-07T22:42:00.000-07:00

So am just back from a dream holiday and into those soul searching moods trying to understand life, ok guys attempting to understand life and I stumble upon the latest bazaar magazine. Must confess its one of my favourites. There is a lot of stuff that’s inaccessible and makes me just flip through the pages without a second glance. When I say inaccessible I mean its not even aspirational.

Anyways so coming back to the woman who made me get back to writing is none other than Sushmita Sen. Yes I think she is intelligent, gracious, gorgeous and conducts & carries herself with utmost dignity. So while the journo asks her all about her style and she talks about how she her sense has evolved from being a regular teenager in Delhi to her style after she won the pageant and how style evolves with age. So true. Cant even think actually I can but maybe I don’t want to share how I was way back then.

So while she talks us through her favourite designers they ask her about looking fab at every age and she says, “ It’s very important to like yourself. ‘At every age there are NEW LINES, new structural changes in your body, on your skin. When you start accepting and liking your flaws, they go away. Learn to like that extra line which comes when you think; it wasn’t there before – you’ve earned it.”

Here are her pics when she was 19 and now when she is 35.

I loved her thoughts on this. It makes me go back in time though not long ago when I turned 30 and everybody around told me dam, you’re getting old, you will grey and need to start worrying about anti – ageing, hair colour and middle age crisis and all that crap. But now when I think about my self I feel wow I’ve never felt better about myself. I’ve evolved in every sense and I’m so comfortable in the space I belong today.

So all those women don’t let those lines, the colour, sagging skin, etc take you over. Its important to address it but not get bogged down by it. You are just as appealing to all the people who matter to you as you were earlier or may be even more. They appreciate you now more than ever before.
P.S. For all those who’ve skipped watching Turning 30 starring Gul Panag, please watch it.

Bouncing Board:

2011-03-23T21:08:00.000-07:00

Was just reading Shahrukhs interview in the BT this morning and I found it so genuine and sweet that for his latest film his bouncing board is none other than his son Aryaan. Its quite strange how are bouncing boards keep changing through the different stages in our lives. So we start with mom when we are young, then with friends or siblings as teenagers & early twenties, then moves to boyfriend through mid twenties and husband/fiancé by late twenties, early thirties. As we grow through the years are bouncing boards keep adding and changing and we realize how some people just stay with us always.

As we grow older or should I say our kids grow older they will become an altar to share most things as we feel they are more cued on to life than us. They will add the new age perspective and are more today and Gen next than us.

You will also realize how some relationships wont make it through or maybe some people were left behind and sometimes even the person you are closest to cannot be your bouncing board and the older ones just continue. I have been one of the lucky ones to have more than one bouncing boards in my mom, sisters, my husband, my mother in law and now my daughter. And something inside me tells me that all of these will stay.

When I think of my relationship with them I just realize that I am so blessed to have these people around me and they love me for the all the madness I bring to their lives, all the problems, confusions, fun, and all my flaws. It makes me feel special that they love me and have stood by me inspite of all my imperfections. Yes I don’t have any qualms about admitting that I’m not perfect and feel no one is, its just that we never want to accept it. Anyways that aside just realize that how all these people in my life are so encouraging and have different perspective to the same situation. E.g. Your mom will find everything you do flawless and feels like “ wow my daughter did this”, can so empathize with this after being a mom, at the same time your sibling will be ruthlessly straight forward as they are use to the fights and patch ups through the years. They are never scared to tell you anything. Husbands/boyfriends know the truth but have to do it tactfully without hurting you. Actually it depends on how many number of years you have been together and what stage is your relationship. But more often than not its one of your strongest ones, in my case it is. Mother in laws, this one I don’t know how many women in India will agree as she is the most hated creature for most of them but I love mine and she has really been an anchor in my life with all my relationships and been a guide to me as a person. My daughter is my bouncing board already at 2. Whenever my husband is traveling and I tell her aanya I am missing papa she will pacify me and tell me mom, its ok be strong I am there with you na, its ok don’t be upset. Then she gives me a power that is infused with unconditional love and warmth. Love you aanya.

I feel blessed to be here and know that I am not alone in this life and I have so many people who love and listen to me

Its special but I dont want it!

2011-03-22T21:49:00.000-07:00

I don’t know if you read the Mumbai mirror and read the horrifying stories about mentally & physically challenged kids in the government run shelters. Its quite shocking and actually you begin wondering that there people who are abusing kids who don’t even know what’s wrong with them.

The first story was about the kids at Kavdas orphanage where kids were malnourished, with no proper sanitation facilities and death after death with inadequate funds to support or give these children the bare necessities. Only because the story was reported some action was taken and these kids were moved from there. After that we have stories every alternate day reporting that are similar. One at the panvel childrens home where there were deaf & dumb children being raped by the care takers & other random men in the vicinity until some one figured out the scandal. Then we had the two pedophiles who ran orphanages under the garb of charity to fulfill their sexual desires. And now we have the same situation reported across all orphanages in Maharashtra. Lack of sanitation conditions, mentally & physically challenged children being kept in the same room. The children are not toilet trained, girls & boys who are 14 – 15 are left in the same room with only their undergarments on, kids from 14 – 70 years are all in the same shelter. Water tanks kept open and there is no adequate medical help and children who suffer from TB, pneumonia and other respiratory diseases are not given any special medical attention. Click here and here to read the article

This actually reminds me on how I am so careful that my daughter has boiled water, she wears proper clothes, how I spend sleepless nights when she has a minor cough & cold, her fine motor skills are gross motor skills are being developed well.
These stories actually bring so many questions in my mind. Why does god make special children? Why cant god just make everybody the same? Its somebody’s right to be normal and please they are innocent children. How can he be so cruel? Even though I don’t agree that children should be deprived of anything even if he did, he should give them birth in families who are financially, emotionally & physically capable of raising them and not in homes where parents who think of these children as a burden and leave them in these shelter homes to face whatever life has in store for them. As a mother I cannot believe how can any mother have the courage to leave their own child good, bad, ugly to fend life for themselves and especially if he is not capable of doing so. Again god I want to ask you why do you do this?

Why are people so selfish that they want to make money out of these children by taking away the funds that are granted for these kids. I want to ask to the government that the allowance per child hasn’t been raised since the 1960’s. How are these shelter homes even suppose to make do with the funds allocated with the rise in inflation? How much does the Child & Welfare Committee head spend on his own son/daughter? How can he therefore think that these kids don’t even deserve enough to have basic necessities?

How I wish there were corporates who would come forward and address these issues and take them up. Why wouldn’t a Dettol, J&J, Parle, Nestle, etc come forward and support these organizations in kind. Trust me all the mothers who are your target audience would have new found respect for you. You would have already won them over.

Its sad that we usually like special things and usually wait for them. Our hands shrivel up only when the special is not beautiful. It’s only then that we feel even if it is special I don't want it!

Big Shout out to Mad Momma

2011-03-21T21:09:00.000-07:00

This is one blog I absolutely love reading. Simple yet so cool. I love all her posts there are funny, serious, thoughtful but they all have a very deep human thought to it.

Do drop in and read Mad Momma One post that I think will get you thinking and make you smile if you were born in late seventies, early 80's 90's songs I am embarrassed to admit I like

Un - Clan!

2011-03-21T00:43:00.000-07:00

Don’t think the show KWK would have got great TRP’s last night but honestly I thought it was a fab show. One for Karan to call people he doesn’t hang out with all the time so it gets interesting and they have a different perspective vs. the same stuff and aura that he brings to the show. Secondly to call a guy who is just so honest & has such a brilliant attitude to life.

Honestly until yesterday I didn’t care much about John Abraham and thought he was a guy with a fab body and the only movies I loved him in were Jism, New York, Dhoom & Dostana. Yesterday after the show which they promoted as a really sex – y show with John being this ultimate sex baba or something was just so much more than that.

When he was asked questions on Bipasha he refused to comment saying its personal and he doesn’t care of what the speculation is. Then he had no qualms about admitting that he is often not the first choice for a lot of movies and he is ok with it. Wow he is really a solid guy, I mean literally. One is to know it and be comfortable with it and the other is to publicly acknowledge it. Cant seem to understand how people do that, na!

As the show moved on to the rapid fire round I was quite amazed at his response to a lot of the answers. Sonam Kapoor great pretty looking girl, very honest, etc. But the answers I absolutely loved were:
Q: Imran, Ranbir or shahid the star you would bet your money on
A: why would I bet my money on

Q: Shahrukh, Salman or Aamir the Khan of all seasons
A: Karan why are you clannish? Why cant we have Devgans or Kapoors or Singhs. Ajay Devgan has delivered the biggest hits last year

With this answer Karan Johar was actually stumped and I think even he realized that he was clannish.

We all have our comfort zones and just want to move about in the same zone. It takes so much more of us to break away from the good old stuff and say or do something different. All the guests on the show made choices with whatever question they got vs. just thinking it could be a different response.

Big bow to John for doing just that and being so brutally honest. Lesson well taught! Karan are you listening?

Money Cant buy!!!

2011-03-20T03:20:00.000-07:00

As always its children who teach me the small joys of life and make me realize that life is beautiful no matter where you are. Its just the people you are with who matter the most.

A few days ago I was waiting at the Babulnath temple waiting for some one and while I waited inside patiently I saw these small young street kids playing with literally anything that came their way. There were these jungle gym kind of construction climbers that they played. How I wish I had my camera to capture the moment. A thought that passed my mind instantly was and yeah it just came rushing through was how I taught my daughter to use the jungle gym at the garden everyday asking her to be careful as she took each step and here these kids just learn the ropes of life without any support or guidance. They loved their time on the bamboos and I , loved watching them.

Your kids don't know the price of the toy you give them they know the time you spend with them. To them its not a Barbie doll its a doll. You taught them or society taught them its a Barbie and shes pretty and good. They don't know expensive, cheap, costly. These words are not part of their dictionary yet.

Just today I thought I will take her to a friends building where there was music, food & rain dance but something within me told me that she would rather enjoy where her friends are and all the other frills will not make her as happy as playing with her own friends. I am glad I did what my daughter liked and not what suited me

Just yesterday when I was at a book store with my daughter and another mom was teaching her daughter modes of transport, bus, car, truck etc. The baby asked her mom why don't we travel by bus it must be fun. The mom said its dirty and only people who don't have cars travel by bus. My point is not that you let them do whatever they want to but don't influence their decisions. Let them experience it. They are in their formative years and must know and experience everything.

For all those moms who think bus rides are dirty try it. sit atop a double decker bus in the front seat and feel the breeze through your hair and see the smiles on your child's face. These are experiences money can't buy!

Sunscreen

2010-06-17T23:42:00.000-07:00

Sunscreen!

Don’t know why I am reminded of the song sunscreen that makes me feel less guilty of all the not so approved choices I would like to make in life.

It makes me feel a little less miserable about wanting the sun, moon and the stars without having to work for it, or feel normal if I don’t know what my calling is. Making me believe that life isn’t perfect and actually love and accept my imperfections.
It gives me the confidence to make choices which need a lot of courage otherwise, being sensitive to life and other humans who god has not been so kind to.

It gives me the happiness to spend time with my daughter all of 18 months versus being in a work place that’s otherwise aspirational. Making me understand that this time is never going to come back and I need to make the most of it to have no regrets later. I know her little hands want me now to guide them and instill right values today, to play the stupidest games, get dirty in the garden, spill food all over, sneak and eat chocolates but I still want to do it. I want to spend hours reading to her and cuddling her in bed which for most of us is a luxury.

I want to spend time with my parents today knowing that everyday is a day less with them. It makes me want to love them and be loved as it’s a day less of their love, care and shelter.

Love life to the fullest without having to regret any day of my life. Allowing me to fall and taste the flavour of success and failure both.

It makes me cherish, love and relive every moment of my youth. It makes me feel beautiful even if I am fat and not be glued on to beauty magazines cause they promote low self esteem.

It makes me want to invest in me and all those relationships I left behind when I thought I didn’t have time. I want to invest in them now. I want to learn pottery even if I may never mould a beautiful one.

It makes me want to learn a language even if I may never speak one. It makes me want to sing or play along even if it may not sound right. It makes me want to dance even if it’s only my mom who appreciates it.

It makes me want to see all those beautiful places in the world which are less traveled and where people don’t judge me by my name or status.

It makes me think and ponder within, have a conversation with myself which I otherwise choose to ignore everyday.

It makes me…..

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Exposure

2010-04-24T06:32:00.001-07:00

So am at the parlour getting my hair done and see this mom here with her two teenage daughters. While the mom is a simple and elegant lady the daughters gorgeous and full of themselves.

Ok so she is all of 15 and gets her hair washed, cut and dried. Her nails perfect and while her mom gets her hair cut she can't stop admiring herself in the mirror flipping her hair from one side to the other, playing with the bands and ofcourse clicking her own photos. She stands in front of the mirror and poses with a profile and a pout... So perfect that I have already drifted 10 years away when my daughter will do the same thing and how will I react.

Anyways can't blame these kids for what they are going through cause as parents somewhere we are the ones who have exposed them to all that they know. While all these thoughts are going through my head the other daughter whose all of 10 asks the hair stylist for some hair serum to settle the frizz. I wonder when I was 10 did I even know or care whether my hair was frizzy or what serum is?

Coming back to exposure its such a thin line where you don't know if its the right or not. Gadgets, gizmos, movies, parties, clubs, make up. Every bit of it the kids are exposed to so much and they are learning it all from us.

While the girl is taking her own pics she is tucking her stomach in to ensure whatever little flesh that she has is also not seen. Obviously fitness is among the top 10 on their priority list.

So before they leave they do their eyes, dab some lip gloss all ofcourse of their mom, coz its all expensive. They rather use their money on stuff their mom doesn't buy.

In all of this forgot that I'd actually come for relaxing hair spa... Which is over... Damn

Indian Emotional Attyachaar

2010-04-01T18:56:00.000-07:00

This one is clean, simple easy. We as Indians love the rona, dhona, sacrifice and playing sad songs at every occasion. While I was at moms the other day and she watched some crappy soap on TV where the women were all piling on to another woman and she cried and howled but in vain. Switch to another soap where the daughter is getting married and inspite of the fact that we cry on certain songs like “ye galiyan, ye chobara, yahaan aana na dobara….from Prem Rog, the girl was insistent on danciong to that song. Now don’t we all know that yes leaving moms is a really big toughie but got to do it and then to instigate those tears we play these emotional songs that make us cry? While I went back to my wedding days thinking of my sangeet(song & dance evening) my mom was already crying thinking of her daughters abroad and how they have been married for so long, and work so hard and they haven’t come home for so long….phew…mom, mom, mom I said, please relax….but the ganga jamuna saraswati had to flow.

We as Indians just love all this emotional drama, that’s why our movies which are actually a reflection of our society exhibit this so well. Think of all those movies for a while that made you cry…Masoom, Hum aapke hain kaun, actually all the Karan Johar & sooraj Barjatiya types. We love the pain & pathos. Think of all those times when you listened to songs continuously that made you cry….Whenever we see something sad, we want to believe that it’s happening to us or could happen to us and we get so involved in the whole process that it makes us weak. When we see someone sick or unhappy we immediately empathize thinking god please this should never happen to me.

Our reason to connect and belong is what gets us caught into this emotional drama all the time. We are so into each others lives and space that everything affects us all the time. And women especially believe that all the bad and good of fiction will definitely happen to them so they always want to be ready all the time. Sounds familiar huh! Think of all those times when you asked (if you are a girl)/ you were asked by your girlfriend after a watching a movie about infidelity, “will you ever be disloyal to me?”, or “will you ever cheat on me for any other woman?” Or after a great show on travel & living or a bolly flick shot in some well shot international locale, “Baby when will we go to such beautiful places”. You never take me anywhere…no you don’t love me…when was the last time you gave me a gift.” For women materialistic gifts have a longer memory, only because we can flaunt it. So men by default are always wrong.

So coming back to moms while I was there for my brief stay with her we watched all the sangeet DVD’s of all my sisters and my wedding… my mom cried and blushed as she saw her daughters perform and thought nobody can dance better than her daughters. I spent the rest of the two days with lots of fun and followed the soaps that they watched religiously on TV that persuaded me to write about Emotional Attyachaar

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I want my private life back!

2010-03-30T23:49:00.000-07:00

In a general discussion over lunch the other day we stumbled on the topic, blurring lines between work & private time. As the conversation progressed my friend told me that how her ex colleagues have now become really good friends and they practically hang together all weekends. I went back in time to think of all those Friday evenings before my daughter was born, where we all went for a Friday evening drink and relaxed and shed our inhibitions and egos to become a great team and above all great friends. Alcohol sure helps bonding, I completely endorse it!

Obviously people who were compromised in the bargain were friends “friends” and my dear husband.

Going out is no longer restricted to friends alone, you will always have someone from work to entertain all the time, after all its always important to network right? Says who!!!

Do we actually want to stay connected with work all the time or is it the lack of inclination to explore other interests that keeps us addicted to work all the time. Or is it our insecurities of being dispensable that makes us respond to all communication even if it isn’t earth shattering and could wait until Monday.

It is I who has made the choice to compromise that weekend, nobody has asked me to. I don’t want to compartmentalize my life but integrate it to ensure I straddle all relationships all the time. Remember we all believe that we have to keep everybody happy.

No time for myself or lets put it this way struggle to prioritize time for myself over the week to pursue anything but work. Even if I do that place/hobby needs to help me network. E.g. more and more people wanting to join clubs, gyms, classes, games that actually helps them initiate a conversation. It reminds me of a conversation with a friend where she became a member of a really nice new club but she was upset as she did not get membership to the ‘IT’ club where the crowd would have been better and she could network well to climb the ladder up faster.

This is also a quality that we are subconsciously passing onto our children. No activity for ourselves or bad time management is what they will pick up from us. We will push them to academics by default and compromise on their hobby or passion which could be their careers tomorrow.

Is this the reason why a lot of us get burnt out earlier than we could work and we want to take that time off even if it’s the peak of our career?

So what am I going to do about it? I no longer know how to silo myself from work.

So, gang, has anyone cracked this nut? How do you draw firm lines to give yourself true time off when, no matter what you do, the world keeps spinning, the conversation keeps going, and the work keeps piling up?

Needless to say, I'll be checking this discussion 24/7.

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By My Side

2010-03-23T21:17:00.000-07:00

It’s a bright sunny day at work and as I enter office with no one in at 9 a.m. I feel all charged up to start my work without any interruptions.

As I start my day with a cup of some lemon tea and my notepad striking of the done and adding things to do in my job-list I realize that there is so much to accomplish in such little time. I need to finish all this within the time I have set for myself and then rush back home to my baby. She has been waiting for me all day and now I need to make it up to her for staying away all day long.

I send some emails, finish a few calls, sit through a few meetings and close some pending tasks and finally check the watch for lunch. Rush through lunch, actually no maybe I look forward to it because it comes from my mom. And we all know what “maa ke haath ka khana” means….

Soon after lunch back to the grind again after a quick phone call home to check if my little angel has eaten today or not.

At four quickly grab a cup of tea again and have a few team discussions and at 5 back to some last minute stuff as I pack my bags and am ready to leave at 5.30. – 6.00 to avoid the traffic and reach home early. Yes I’m in an envious position as leaving office at this time is unheard of. Even people at work do! I’m use to the glares that I get when I’m at the door which say… how do you manage to leave on time everyday, don’t you have enough work? Not a single one says wow shes got to be good, she is so disciplined to leave office everyday on time. Or ya she can leave as she comes in early as well! But no we ought to be negative!

But I’ve reached a point where it doesn’t affect me, actually nothing affects me but my work and my family. I have managed to prioritize between the two and say there is only so much of me that I can give to each one of them.

As I hail a cab and continue finishing a few work calls and the most important call to my mom, who somehow never runs out of conversation with her daughters.

Excited to go back to my daughter and hug her tight is what I’m looking forward to. As I climb the stairs to the door of my house, I wait to see her face light up as she sees my face. I feel a gush of love and happiness to see, what I mean to her. The world becomes the most beautiful place on earth and life is beautiful suddenly. I dress my little princess in pink and put pretty clips in her hair. While I run in the park, slide with her or swing with her, or fall down while I play ringa ringa roses I am oblivion to everything else.

The evening continues with dinner and her bath time and some more play. As the day ends and she falls asleep I lay down on my bed finally thinking of the day gone by and how I have accomplished something at work, as a mother, as a wife, but the me was missing… while the head was filled with all these thoughts the body had no energy and my eyes closed and the thoughts drifted away to recoup lots of energy for the new day.

As the alarm rings and I open my eyes I see my daughter on one side and my husband on the other, a sense of completeness fills me. I feel content and happy. Yes I am now full of energy and enthusiasm to start a new day that will be brighter than yesterday. The pace of life can never slow me down, words of envious people can never hurt, work will never seem impossible or difficult if I have the people I love by my side.

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My first IPL LIVE!

2010-03-23T01:59:00.001-07:00

Over a random fight with my husband over how Bombay is so boring and there are few options to actually do something every weekend, we stumbled upon the idea of going for the IPL matches.

The tickets were booked; the coordination with friends was done; FB status was updated, Tweets sent out. Sunday was literally spent in publicizing my visit to watch the match at the CCI.

When I went to collect my tickets at the counter I was actually impressed with the ease with which things were managed. We grabbed some food before getting in as we were sure that the food wouldn’t be great even if we had the best seats.

The pheriwallas(street vendors) added drama & excitement with team flags, t-shirts, whistles, caps, bands, the works. I too gave in the temptation and bought a whistle.

As I entered I was overwhelmed by the crowd, the music, the commentators, arrangement. Whew! Everything.

As I cheered for Sharukh's knight riders I knew that in Mumbai there is only one god and that is Sachin Tendulkar! The crowd went hysterical with every move of the master blaster.

The cheer leaders entertained, were up and dancing with every hit or wicket. The DJ cheered the crowd and ensured the players were well supported all through the match. I was amused and entertained with the desi music that entertained everybody including the phirangi cheerleaders who didn’t understand any of it.

When the little master came out to bat, there were people dancing, jumping waving their flags, whistling, screaming his name & runs. For a a moment it just seemed like cricket was a religion in India and Sachin was the only god we worshiped.

I just wondered how Lalit Modi has just made Cricket into a full blown masala movie. There is action, glamour, drama, you just cant get enough of!

As Sachin batted the last ball for a four and the crowd cheered for their favourite team I was trying to capture all these moments in my mind to never let this memory ever fade off...

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The Art of Management!

2010-03-01T20:36:00.000-08:00

I am a post graduate in Management and I must say I have literally mastered it. We all master the art of managing pretty early in life. In fact that’s what we are taught right? We teach our kids how to juggle between studies & play. As they grow up how to manage relationships, then work, then family and it just goes on.

It just seems like a never ending journey of juggling priorities and obviously leaving some stuff undone. You are bound to ruffle a few feathers but we are actually as people so scared to say NO, atleast I am that on the contrary if I need to stretch myself at work or home I will do it. Especially the Indian woman, the giving goddess will go all out for it. Ok come back from the memories of all the times when you wanted to but couldn’t say NO. Remember all those times when you wanted to take off and your boss said NO. You gave in or ‘Managed’ it by saying I will take my leave but complete the work. And then while you attend those maddening calls on your holiday you’ve upset your family and yourself.

In this process of stretching to deliver the elasticity is lost and there will be a point in time when there will be so much tension on the band that it will break. It’s probably delivering under its actual capacity because it’s just about managing.

We manage everything from money, to multiple roles, work, relationships, everything. At every bend of life there is a moment where your mind takes over and prioritizes decisions for you and then you manage between the two decisions.

Think about all those times you got selfish and actually said a NO, I’m sure you remember the consequences they weren’t very pleasant. You were punished for being selfish. It’s Ok to be selfish sometimes and say NO, all we seek is an assurance from someone.

We also often fear being bitched about/or spoken ill about when we would say no, to ensure we maintain that imagery/perception we give into managing

Don’t give in and be a great manager, learn to address things beyond managing. It’s Ok as it does pay off in the long term.

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Confessions of a Blackberry addict

2010-02-26T01:18:00.000-08:00

I have a confession: I love my BlackBerry.

It’s my window to the world at any point in time. It entertains me when no one familiar is around. It’s the answer to all the queries I can think of. It’s the best communication channel among my friends.

I like checking my work email at home at all hours. Cant think of a day when I didn’t check all the emails on my phone, important or not.
I like reading about what's happening at work when I'm supposed to be decompressing on vacation. It’s important to be part of the communication group even if it is not addressed to me; it makes me feel remembered and important.
It comforts me somehow. I know what's happening. I'm not missing something important, delaying my response to something crucial, or walking back into the office unaware of a brewing crisis.

Now if I'm being honest, almost never IS there a brewing crisis — certainly not one that I can't deal with swiftly when I sit down at my desk first thing in the morning. But somehow it doesn't matter, I like intrusion of privacy and then complaining about never being off work or being a workaholic.
I've woven my personal and professional lives together in my patterns and habits, and I'm OK with that.

OK, more than OK with it. It partly defines how I think about my life. When I was on maternity leave, colleagues would chastise me for constantly being on email — as if I was so stressed by work that I couldn't stop checking in. What they didn't realize was that checking in to work during that time was essential for my mental well being! Work is stimulating.

Even now, sometimes when I can't sleep, I get up and check email at odd hours of the night. It's not because of stress, it's because it helps my mind focus on something other than what woke me up. Now I'm not sure I should admit any of this to my husband cause I accuse him of being an addict. And I don't relish being in touch when technology limitations make it difficult to do so. Or when I am truly, deeply in a family moment and I don't want to think about work. But in reality, most of the time, I want to stay in touch — it's interesting.

So I confess, I have blurred the lines between work and home and I've done it on purpose. One feeds and stimulates the other. How about you? Are those lines sacred or do you, like me, secretly like being at home and at work at the same time?

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The Winning Horse!

2010-01-19T20:26:00.000-08:00

This is an experience that I’m sure all of us have been through at some point in our lives. Be it at work, home or in any relationship. The love, attention, affection is always on the one who brings the trophy home. While you are good you bask in the glory of success and when you can’t win no more you stand in the last row to be pictured.
Here’s what I mean. Look at actors, while they are young and have lots of hits and scandals, they are oh so hot, when they prioritize family over career they often need to make a strong comeback to make their presence felt.

Parents who have 2 children will always be more bent towards the child who draws attention either for his mischief, his looks, studies, sports, all in all fame.
Think of the preferred daughter in law at home… the preferred one always calls the shots.

At work, this is a classic… you know there is someone who gets his way through anything that he says, gets less work more money, is always the one in the consideration set all the time. Relax its life it happens. It’s the rule of life. Envy will not get you results. I know its easier said than done but try just let go the minute the thought even occurs especially all you girls just think of something else immediately and divert your attention.

The rule is more risk more money, whoever gets the moolah in hogs the limelight and all rules are amended for him. When things go wrong as they sometimes will the winning horse may get pardoned a couple of times but after that he will be the first one to face the axe as well

So all you winning horses don’t let the fame get to your head, love the good times and always be prepared for the bad. Like Krishna said work hard unconditionally and results will follow. Trust me you will be a winning horse one day and enjoy all the glitterati of the winning horse.

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Building the nest!

2010-01-07T00:38:00.000-08:00

It was a regular Wednesday morning while I was feeding my baby her breakfast by the window sill showing her trees, flowers, cycles, dogs and birds. The birds were fluttering enjoying the weather and loved the winter sun. A constant chirp caught my ears and as I tried tracing that sound I saw a little sparrow build her nest on a tree near my house. I observed her intently and saw how she found fine pieces of straw, grass, wires and build a warm cozy nest for her little babies to arrive. She didn’t know if it was the best nest, how long will it take, is it better than the others, she just kept building to ensure it is safe for her babies.

I looked at my little baby and kissed her as I saw how life is a journey and you keep accumulating so many things on the way. You start with probably nothing and gradually en route you pick up values, culture, friends, siblings, education, knowledge, lovers, soul mates, life partners, enemies, cars, house, gadgets, experiences…

There are times when all that you’ve collected on your way is all lost and you need to start all over again and you’ve lost all energy and enthusiasm, all things material but you still have the education, knowledge, friends, parents, siblings, love and experience. Nobody can ever take that away from you and that’s all that you need to get all that you’ve lost back. So bounce back and you will see that slowly and gradually the hard work and patience will pay off and all that you wanted will be yours of course the struggle is also yours.

Also the person who has lost it all and starts again is fearless and is never scared of trying or innovating as he has now fear to lose or fall. He will succeed a lot more that he was earlier as he now does what he always wanted to do and his way. He also values things a lot more and will therefore always think more rationally and sensibly than earlier.
So build your nest today with all things necessary and don’t lose patience in your journey to get those little pieces together. It’s only a matter of time.

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3 Idiots unearthed

2009-12-28T21:00:00.000-08:00

On a lazy Xmas afternoon there couldn't have been a more sensible decision than watching the most awaited bolly flick of the year with 4 stars. Though not an Aamir fan I know that his movies make sense, they have a soul and understated style and screenplay that instantly strikes a chord and makes you love the movie.
As we rushed to the theatre and settled with a tub of popcorn and chai ready to watch a movie in the theatres after ages, have to admit I loved it, 3 hours of exclusive me time... Woo hoo!

Ok getting back, so the movie started and the audience in the theatre getting into giggles already and those faint giggles grew to loud continuous laughter. The humour was excellent with great timing and the message so simple but strong. As the movie progressed it took me through various roles of my lives as a child, teenager in college, as a girlfriend, as a friend as a wife and finally a mother. It was like a deja vous to see each role so beautifully essayed just flash in front of my eyes and making me relive those moments and help me grow in those roles.

I wouldn’t share the movie details with you as you definitely have to watch it, but will definitely say don’t leave behind the learning’s that you get from it. That simple message of application & practical education is what we need to implement and not be a victim of peer pressure. For all those parents & teachers let our kids be they will learn at their own pace and follow their heart. Push them to achieve what they want to and not what you want to. Its ok, to fall learn, and change the path you set out on. Parents, be the guiding light in your child’s life. Let them explore and learn and don’t teach them everything. The experience when they learn on their own is far more enriching and will prepare them for all the times when you will not be around.
And nothing can be more convincing than 3 idiots giving you such an important and simple message that its ok to be happy than successful and do what you always want to and not what others want you to be. Stop pushing your children to be what you always wanted to be.

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The NEW of the OLD

2009-12-25T19:11:00.000-08:00

As I was changing radio stations on my new ipod player on my way to work, I stumbled on a station that was luckily playing a few old songs and I was happy and elated to finally hear those favorites all over again. I saw myself humming along those songs in no time and going to work on a Monday morning didn’t seem so boring after all. While I enjoyed those songs everything seem to suddenly look so beautiful, the Bombay weather seemed a little chilly finally, people around look happier, I felt happier and therefore more confident. Like a few good old memories had just changed my complete perspective. It suddenly dawned on me that this always happens to me when ever I stumble upon things I leave behind. Lets start from those old clothes that were your favourite and always made you look good, when you clean your cupboard they always bring a smile on your face cause they make you feel good, ah! I was so thin once upon a time. Those school pictures, the ones where the class was suppose to take pictures together standing in height order and people would fight who would sit next to the class teacher. That old car which was really so embarrassing but so much of sentimental value for your dad, you just couldn’t understand why he couldn’t part with it and get you a new one!

Those old saris which your mom wore for her wedding and our all coming back into fashion, you gleam with happiness and your mom is so happy thinking you like her choice and she was fashionable when she was young. The old jewelry which your mom leaves behind trust me don’t think you will find those antique pieces ever. Those old friends whom you bump into at the school reunion or on facebook, that expression of seeing those school mates as wives, mothers and mother in laws is priceless! Those old days which you spent in the school canteen, those days when you were punished outside the class, the madness of staying awake and studying, or the photocopying of notes just before the exam, fighting for the bathroom in the hostel, stealing ‘ghar ka khana’ from some hostel mate, having no pocket money by the 15th of the month and taking ‘udhar’(loan) all seem to go by bringing a smile on your face. Those moments never come back but they are saved in the best moments of your life in the archives of your memory.
We get so engrossed with all that is present and new that we forget all that was important back then and what we are actually made of. New relationships, new friends, new house, new work place that the old seems to suddenly catch dust and the new shines brighter than before just like mastercard reunion ad, one of my favourites along with the famous song "purani jeans aur gitar....'
Clean the dust and visit those old letters, those dried flowers which you saved between your old books, those jeans which you once fitted into, those friends who were the foundation of your growing up years. Don’t lose touch with who you were and trust me you will find the ‘New in the OLD’ and will be happier than ever before.

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It’s blue all the way

2009-12-11T02:56:00.000-08:00

As an expectant mother I was enjoying every moment of my pregnancy waiting for an angel to brighten my beautiful life further. My husband and I prayed for a little princess to come into our lives and fill our lives with colour, fun and happiness.

But in this beautiful journey of parenthood we soon realized that even in this current age, a lot of people, be it the villages, cities or the western world still wish for a boy.

I remember my Godh bharai ceremony (baby shower) when all my relatives and friends came over to wish me and the baby lots of health & happiness. They all secretly told me “I wish you a boy” and I wondered why? Just wish me a healthy baby that’s all I ask of you.

Through all my sonograms my husband and I were inquisitive for sure to know whether it is a boy or a girl but always scared to ask the doctor. Actually it wasn’t so much of being scared but actually killing the suspense at the time of delivery.

The speculation while you are pregnant, the baby shower games, the Chinese calendar its all fun and let it be that way. The suspense will actually keep you going till the last month. It’s fun to know what everybody is betting on!

To be honest until the 32nd week I really was biased and wanted a girl but after that week I just wanted a normal healthy baby! The sex just didn’t make any difference to me any more. I was nervous…

I still remember the delivery table and the final push when I was exhausted and with a shaking voice I asked my doctor is it a girl? And he said yes and I screamed with joy! And couldn’t stop telling myself WOW! it’s a girl, it’s a girl as I held my nervous first time father, husbands hand.
I truly thought at that moment that ya, maybe god does give you what you ask for!

Soon after I delivered a lot many people came by and consoled me don’t worry you can try again and it may be the next time around it would be a boy or would subtly put it good now with a boy the next time it will be a complete family.

As days went by and I strolled in the garden with my daughter in the pram, a neighbour came by and told me to try having my next baby after prescribed medication from a gynaec who can guarantee a son. Didn’t know you have guarantees for this as well! I just fail to understand if natures chosen something for you let it give you that don’t go against it.

I just heard all of it and wondered wow, we may want to believe that the world has changed but its not! And trust me it’s not an India phenomenon only. The western world also is partial to blue and the East, cannot comment on it at all cause the lives that the women are made to lead there, even I would wish anybody a boy. Cannot have any more women subjected to slavery any more.
So the world over, It’s blue all the way…

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My Best Friend

2009-12-09T20:15:00.000-08:00

While the evenings get darker early in the so called winter(Bombay only gets fewer hours of light but where's the winter:() and as I sit back in the cab to get home unable to read, I realized how important is the 'phone' in our lives.

While I was busy catching with friends, work, parents, emails and obviously face book, all the moments that my phone had rescued me and given me company just quickly flew by my eyes. Either a boring party that I was attending alone where I finished meeting most people or was in between meeting 2 people or when you are early for a meeting.
At the parlour its the best time actually, or while traveling. The phone seems to come handy all the time. Its become less of a tool of communication and more of a companion. Its something that most people can't leave their homes without. You know all those celeb columns of what's in your bag or cant leave home without, the phone always makes it there!

Your best friend knows your calendar your notes your most intimate conversations. Almost a confidant. You also kind of love her and her appearance is of utmost importance to you. That's why you get the most fancy and expensive one then dress her up with a case or a few tassels.

It's also a cause for fights between a lot of couples today as the girl chats away and the guy possibly cant stop messing with it. Or those late nights when you suddenly wake up and cant put yourself back to sleep and unconsciously start checking your emails or start playing brick breaker or tetris.

Think about it when you forget something at home your lunch, a book, a file or your phone you get most restless when...

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Young and Restless

2009-11-05T20:20:00.000-08:00

It was a lazy Saturday evening with friends and some freshly brewed coffee. It was after a long time that all of us decided to do nothing and to just catch up on life. As the evening progressed and our conversations moved from the regular humour and banter to sharing dreams and ambitions I realized how the quest to rise and rise fast is the only thing on the minds of the youth today.

I will admit that I am a part of this clan. Our need to accomplish and accomplish at a younger age is taking over a lot of 'me' time or 'family' time. As we discussed our goals and lives 5 years down the line, there were comments like "boss jaldi paisa kamana hai, par kaise?"(I want to make some quick money but how?) "I don't mind doing anything dude but its gotta be quick". Our parents had the time we don't ya, where's the time? Our parents went for their first foreign holiday at 50; we want to do it at 20 and our kids at 2. That's the pace and we all need to keep up.

As the discussion moved on we came to discussing babies and how it’s so expensive to raise them and so time consuming and restricting to careers, personal accomplishment, relationships, travel that it’s best to restrict it to one. My mind drifted away to the conversation I had a few weeks ago with my mom and remembered her words, “you’ll think so much about yourselves vs. us who thought about our kids all the time.” She is often amazed at how every activity in our lives is so planned and calculated including having kids. She often tells me “don’t think so much, har baccha ya insaan apna naseeb leke aata hai.”(Each child/person will come with his fate, so don’t think so much). Sub consciously I thought my god it would be such a riot if my mom was part of this discussion.

We then moved onto social skills and how it’s so important to network to climb that ladder fast. All the boys defended themselves saying that's why they keep doing their boys night out. (We believe them). I agree that today your social skills and ability to network that can get you going and going great places. The result is obviously evident with the amount of time we spend on these social networking sites.

It was almost dawn as we discussed our lives, we all agreed with some and disagreed with some. I listened to all my friends intently, soul searching and trying to identify traits that drive all of us today keeping us so young and restless

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The Other Side

2009-10-10T06:17:00.000-07:00

This one is for all those who think that the grass may be greener on the other side, who want to know what could be in store for them.
Yes its difficult to take decisions sometimes, actually at most times and especially the ones that are not warranted by most of your loved ones. We often get caught up between doing what's essential from a practical point of view and what you always wanted to do.

A close friend of mine decided to quit her well paying job in an MNC company to set up her own house and wait until she found her calling. Most friends did not agree with her decision as they could not do it and wondered why would someone want to leave her job in these recessionary times. Today with just one month through her sabbatical she has discovered so many facets about herself that were unknown to her. She took classes at the Culinary Institute of America, went exercising everyday, took dance classes, spent time with her siblings and is sure that the entrepreneur in her is ready to take on the world.

Another friend of mine who just moved home after marriage to another country wrote this great article for the Wall Street Journal http://online.wsj.com/article/SB125480175834966795.html which again reaffirms my faith that any decision in life is not worth regretting.

More often than not we weigh our decisions with the impact it will have on the lives of those we love, but be selfish sometimes. The other side could be good for the both of you. Don't fear failure because you were at least courageous enough to try. There are so many people who at 60 realise that this is not what they ever wanted to do.

Answer your calling, take the decision that is only yours, don't seek affirmation always. Leave that cushiony job that does not excite you every minute of every day. Even if your calling is to do nothing but be the best homemaker or the best mother to your child, go ahead and do it. Your loved ones will be happy only if you are happy.

The other side may not be green always but at least you were one of the few ones who crossed over.

PS: To the loved ones: Le them at least try!!!

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GIFE

2009-07-24T03:03:00.000-07:00

Wondering what is GIFE. It’s an element of our lives now and impossible to survive without. We turn to it for the smallest issue to the largest ones. It shares with us the experiences of others and the true meaning of all things tangible or otherwise.
GIFE is Google Life.
GIFE was a word that I coined when I realized the importance of Google in our lives. I realized how for all problems, Google is the easiest and simplest solution and obviously its FREE.
It’s a free consultation that you get to all concerns in life. It can be organizing your life with Google calendar, sync, alerts, reminder, it could be your child’s history project, family issues, property issues, restaurants, movies, entertainment, travel, work related to any industry.
I can’t think of one person who does not use Google or is not dependant on Google. The beauty of the whole dam company is that they understand their user so well that they have created a whole basket of Google products which simplifies life as much as it gets.
Google Chrome, picassa, blogspot, orkut, reader, talk, alerts, books, calendar, sync, news, images, maps, documents, you tube. The list is endless. They practically address every need that we possibly have.
I wonder sometimes that how would life be without Google? It’s literally for the people by the people and of the people. Language no bar, caste no bar, country no bar, operating system no bar, competition no bar at all.
I am amazed at the speed and innovation with which this organization works. If we just adopt their principles in real life what would it be like?
1. Simplicity
2. Futuristic
3. People important to you should be the epicenter of your life. Incase of Google it’s the end user
4. Adaptability
5. Change & innovation
6. Value relationships. If you value this then you will have the person you have for life
7. Service: There is no substitute to this one. Invest in your relationships
8. Great product: If you get this right you need not look any further.

We would have probably stagnated without the search results. So many questions would stay unanswered, isn’t it? How would it be without GIFE…Google the answer to our life

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Weekends

2009-07-10T03:45:00.001-07:00

Running through my personal job list this morning just realized that this weekend again will be really busy.

Yeah, the job list is really critical; our personal and professional lives just centres around this one piece of paper with many scribbles that determines our productivity at the end of the day.

Earlier it was only a Sunday but now it’s progressed to a Sat & Sun. There is so much of catching up to do over the weekend that it’s become a working day for all your personal chores. That’s why more often than not a lot of people have their status on Facebook on Fri as “TGIF”

Paying the bills, figuring out finances, entertainment, exercise, family time, it’s all packed in those 2 days. We pacify ourselves by believing that things even though they may be priority all could be fitted in those 2 days and its fine.

When I head to work every day I feel sad leaving my 1 year old daughter at home but all I do is just reason with myself thinking its Wednesday just 3 more days to go and the weekend I will be with her. Teaching her, trying new food, playing with her, taking her to the garden, or for a swim is all planned for the weekend. Not like she doesn't need it over the weekday but its leisure of time that ensures I push it for the weekend.

Even if it is having an important conversation with my husband that might take a wee bit longer is scheduled for the weekend. Meeting parents who always yearn to see their daughter and grand daughter is also scheduled over the weekend. Groceries, cooking, cleaning, repairs, the list is endless… all over the weekend. More often than not we just push so many things for the weekend forgetting that may be important for the person, or for that relatonship. The dearth of time I guess has made us so self centered.

The way we dress, what we do, our personalities, food, everything is at two extremes. The weekend means its about junk food, eating out, drinking, late nights and relaxed dressing.

We've literally split our lives into two with weekdays and weekends. Over the week we push ourselves to just accomplish so much that we exhaust all of our selves and try to regain and recouperate over the weekend. But life doesn't compartmentalize itself like that. It is the same every day and there is so much to love, enjoy, work learn and grow over the week as much over the weekend. Think about it, haven’t you already started planning your weekend again?

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Now

2009-07-10T03:31:00.000-07:00

As i drive by Marine Drive in Mumbai and enjoy people wet themselves in the lashing waves and heavy rain I cherish the small joys of life which we often miss out in our race to life.
"Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go round? Or listened to the rain slapping on the ground? You better slow down, don't dance so fast. Time is short, the music won't last.

Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask after your loved ones, do you hear their reply? When the day is done, do you lie unhappy in your bed with the next day's chores running through your head?
Ever told your most precious person we'll meet tomorrow and in your haste not seen his or her sorrow? Ever lost touch, let a great friendship die because you didn't have the words or the time or the forgiveness to call and say `hi'?

When you run so fast to get somewhere You miss half the fun of getting there. Life is then an unopened gift... thrown away. Life is no race, do take it slower Hear the music before your song is over" And the boy you have been reading for years desperately wants to add:

Try and really live your Life Sad, mad, unglad never mind; it's yours at least! So enough of strife what joy is enlisted against your name you can't even imagine the same. Heartfelt believes your deepest dream, it upholds your deepest hope if you believe me today, you will see for yourself someday that what you want is nothing compared to what you are destined to have in someway.

Dont let go off people for all things material. That job will not last tommorow but your family will stand by you when its gone.
live those little dreams dont wait for tommorow.
Make life happen today

Voice

2009-06-17T04:58:00.001-07:00

I wish I could do this, wish I could take a break, don’t want to work anymore, want a holiday, want to study further, cant stay with in laws any more, want to travel for a year. These are wishes that a lot of people I know often say to me and I wonder why they can’t just do it. As Indians we are so “in time” for everything. There exists a right age for school, college, education, marriage, babies, family. We are so conditioned and actually scared to break away from the done that we instead let go off these wishes I say Indian because I feel Indians are far more suppressive with their desires than people in the western countries. And it’s in our roots, reflection of our society given the fact that we live among so many people that we are always worried about how they feel and what they think.
I can hardly think of any Indians who have decided to quit their cushiony job and taken a break to actually accomplish their wishes or secret careers.
Very few actually set out of their satisfying family lives or flourishing careers to complete their education. A friend of mine called me from Australia this morning saying she was fed up of her job and decided that she would instead travel to India for a year. I actually think it needs courage to take such a step. Not knowing the future and be ready to embrace life just the way it approaches you.
Dreams wishes, hidden desires, secret careers how often we actually voice all these. Few times or may be none. Why do we often chain ourselves in relationships and commitments that we stop living for ourselves? Or is it these relationships & commitments that actually keep the Indian family system running.
May be its worthwhile doing the wrong and not knowing what’s the future got in store. Maybe we should learn to flow like a little stream that does not know her path but is happy. It’s not always good to be perfect just let your self go. What you deserve you will get so it’s ok to take a chance and explore the unexplored.
Live those dreams so you have no regrets, surrender to life and VOICE all that you’ve suppressed

When we were small!!!

2009-02-19T05:45:00.000-08:00

This is truly inspired by my 3 month old daughter who amazes me with her little acts not every day but every moment.

Here is my lesson learnt…

When we were small everything we did was so cute… our smile so sweet, our tears so precious.

We didn’t care for what clothes we wore. Were they in fashion, were they brand new, what brand were they? Did I wear matching shoes with it? Were my hair shampooed everyday? Those little hands and small feet that cycled in the air, those innocent eyes that said a thousand words. Those cries and coos told everyone what you needed, what comforted you. One sound and the whole house would come running to see you. Wow! Blissful ain’t it.

You lived on milk alone with no other tastes. No Chinese, no thai, no pizza no pasta.
People waited for you too add some more fat. Truly fat looks so sweet only on babies. You never went to the gym to burn those calories, while you played in the garden and fell from the cycle all the chocolates and cheese got burnt.

When we were so small we couldn’t care less what people thought of us, whether they were friends or foes. Anybody who cooed back at us, we heartily cooed back with an innocent smile.
We didn’t know what ego was. There was no forgiveness as there was no disappointment.
There was only love as that was the only emotion we felt.
We didn’t know what religion was until we were taught.

There was no comparison, no envy as we were only content. The most expensive toys didn’t mean anything to us as we loved smiling just looking at the moving ceiling fan. We didn’t understand words to which we hold on so strongly over now. We just knew that somebody is talking to us and it sounded very sweet.

We trusted everybody who held us in their hands, we knew they would look after us really well. We trusted that our parents would give us the best food, values and education. We knew that the milk mom gave us was perfect, the fruits we ate were sweet; the water we bathed with was the right temperature.

We knew that whenever we fall there is mom to pick us up, look after us. Actually failure was never a fear. We fell so often but only to rise and play again.

Do you see the transition as we grow older, materialistic things precede love, you have less friends and more foes. I comes before us. Ego precedes all emotions.
Religion precedes humanity. Envy and competition comes before hard work.
Words have deeper meaning now and we try to dig and interpret those words in many different ways.
Trust seems to have disappeared completely. Once we grow up we don’t trust our parents, friends, spouses, colleagues. We just presume they will do us more harm than good.

Failure just wears us down, we cry over it and often take months and years to regain that strength to rise again. We blame people over our failure instead of starting the attempt to rise again.

I think, no actually believe that god made each one of us perfect but we just lost the goodness he gave us in the journey of life.

Lets try and be children again cause we were the best and the happiest “when we were small”

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Dates to Days

2009-02-18T21:46:00.000-08:00

Personal experiences are not always enough to observe… Look around and the world has enough to offer for you to learn everyday. Often we get so consumed by our own problems, life, relationships that we walk in bright daylight with our vision blindfolded.
We become oblivion to life.

More often than not we always have special occasions in our life that earmark our life. A few significant dates that turn our lives around, make them beautiful, exciting or even ugly.

This date may bring you fame, fortune, love, loneliness, togetherness, whatever it maybe, but it will add a new dimension to your life. It could be your first date, your 1st anniversary, 1st birthday celebration with your husband, 1st few years after marriage, your baby’s 1st birthday, 1st promotion, 1st car, 1st day at work…

We celebrate all the firsts with so much excitement and love that the experience is overwhelming.
As we move on in life the past ceases to exist and a few more dates become of significance. Some would say that’s natural progression of life where newer events become significant and some would say those dates which changed your life will always be memorable and need to be cherished.

Let not the newer priorities take precedence over those important dates, they shaped your life. Let the celebrations continue through life for those are dates that bought you closer to your loved ones.

Don’t take those dates for granted there will always be circumstances that will force you to let go of those moments. But don’t succumb to circumstances, don’t let situations precede relationships. They will always provide resistance but it’s the strength of the relationship that needs to battle the resistance.

If you let go of it once, it will be gone for life. The turning points in your life will cease to exist. Soon you will realize that you have no special moments and no special people. All that you gave to those firsts is too far away. In fact after years of togetherness the chocolates that you send taste sweeter, the red roses seem even fresher, those stuff toys seem even more cozy, that candle light dinner and that walk on the beach by the moonlight even more romantic. Your child’s every birthday will mark a year of growing and learning,for the both of you. Your siblings’ occasions will only reassure him of your care and support.

Don’t let those ‘DATES BECOME DAYS’ ….

Start now, celebrate every day that you have with your loved ones and especially those DATES that gave you happiness forever…

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Never say Never

2008-11-22T19:09:00.000-08:00

I always thought I was organized, set and controlled in life. I had complete control of life and I wouldn’t digress from all that was planned.

To be organized, to plan, to make pert charts was probably my biggest obsession. The smallest of task and my network sheets would crop up. I could never wait for life to happen to me. I knew I had to make life happen.

Confident, aggressive, ambitious, little proud & pompous, life couldn't be wrong with me…that was my belief, or probably most of us believe in that. Until the heights collapse, the walls narrow in, hopes sink, waves calm down and people seem scarce. the phrase.
“It can never happen to me” ceases to exist.

That’s the time god makes you believe in his existence and crushes that pride that made you into a ‘not so good’ human being. He will make you realize of his superiority, his powers and the castle of cards you thought was a steady shelter in your life.

When one stands atop the highest peak, things seem small and tiny, probably unimportant. The words in your conscience are “I will ‘never’ ever be down there.”
The road ahead seems dearer than the journey you left behind. We forget the golden rule in life;
“Rise and fall is a rule in life with no exceptions.”
Not everybody needs to walk downhill or tread the path he left behind but it’s just that, “NEVER” forget the lessons you absorbed on the way and be unaccepting to life. At any point in time remember you will need to embrace life with whatever it holds for you then

Sometimes you wish you had more control over situations that can just sweep you off your feet. When you feel that once I achieve this I progress a step further and will do this and once I achieve that I will work towards the other. That achievement that stability you wish to achieve and use as a base for next steps is a myth, a mirage that is never realized. As you move closer to what you call achievement sucks you in further more and you lose yourself to situations and circumstances.

Today you believe that I don’t want this or I can make this happen at my time, my pace or when I am ready for it. But my friend we don’t live in isolation. Our lives are so entwined with so many other people and forces that it takes, people, energy and forces to all unite at one time and make things happen. There is no either or!

It’s not procrastination but the belief or rather overconfidence that I and ‘me’ solely can make anything happen when I want it. I know a lot of people who spend years chasing bachelor hood and when the y seek companionship finally they fail to see anybody around. That carnival of people around suddenly seemed to elope. Then either it’s no companion or not a perfect companion.

I know friends of mine who tell me I will ‘never’ want to have babies, I don’t want babies yet, or its too early, or cant compromise ‘us’ for ‘it’ yet. They thought they could plan ‘life’. They craved, pleaded and begged to god to make it happen but it didn’t…
They believe that it will happen but, just the journey now seems so long.

I know some friends who believed that they were the best, life would walk to them, they looked down on people, laughed at their miseries, wondered how it would be to have a tough life. They were so happy reveling in the good life that it blinded them until god opened the blindfold and showed them life. Now those eyes are sensitive and can see through problems of all. Now those are eyes are happy to help and not judgmental

We all live in this eternal faith that “it will ‘never’ happen to me”. I will ‘never’ do this, I ‘never’ want this, I ‘never’ will have to put my hands forward. I ‘never’ will have to see downhill, life can ‘never’ be bad with me.
The battle is not with the time you need to get there, or the pace you want to progress at. Just be open and accepting of the fact that today you don’t want it, tomorrow you can’t or may not have it.

Life will happen at the pace you want it at, just delete the ‘never’ in your life coz life keeps changing and situations and circumstances make us do things we thought we’d thought we will ‘NEVER’ do.

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Everything you want, you will have

2008-11-15T21:36:00.000-08:00

This one is from the man who inspired me to write. whose columns made me religiously read the Bombay Times every tuesday. Cyrus Merchant, he made me believe in life.

There is a place and a time where everything will be well. and you will be present there. Am I merely some merchant of hope, selling you soap for the soul each time I write, will what I tell you ever bear fruit, your fruit? That you will know and until you do, believe. Believe that this whole thing we are all a part of was not designed to end in despair.

Besides that this whole thing which we so little understand, has at the helm, someone who does understand. god is too good too let it be bad for you, for long. Heaven won’t keep you hungry, it will serve you a banquet. But here’s the difficult part: you may not get your deepest hunger for whatever it is you are hungry, fulfilled here and now, accept certain inalienable truths. accept them as god’s will. A will you don’t want, hate can’t understand. One that makes you ask aloud "why is god doing this?" Yes, in the pressure cooker of your prayers, burning on the slow flame of faith, for years you asked and it is still being denied.

Don’t curse and turn your flame off, your faith may not have won for you, but it will warm you. The serenity prayer which every living adult is familiar with is more profound than we know... ‘god help me to accept that which I cannot change.’

Millions before you have resigned at the altar of his wish.... and found happiness. The house of the lord has many rooms, some will welcome us. The wisdom lies in not banging on the door that can never be opened.
At a breath-takingly beautiful lunch at six pm with a lake down below, an old friend awash with wine and some of life’s most mature living, concluded that no matter what we do and what we try, god’s way is final. Only humans rush where even angels fear to tread and then we live lifetimes paying the price.

God always gives us what we want; when will we give god what he wants? having said the difficult part for you and having said so after having seen many lose their dream, their loved one, sickness battles lost even after persistent prayers, I know that in some enchanted place where there is a perfect music, everything will be alright again. you will have what you want. and you will have who you want but not now. Perhaps even when your eyes are closed and you are a part of a world that is not this one, you will have your heart opened with joy.

God’s delays aren’t god’s denials. Sometimes he says "yes," sometimes he says "no." and sometimes he says "wait." Pray with the intellect of your soul and find out which of these three is his answer to you and then have the grace to accept, and have the sense to know that god knows what we think we know and have once and for all, the supreme liberating knowledge of that if you can be with god through life, no matter what, then life is with you, no matter what.

You only need obedience, you only need to be exceptionally good, you only need to be eternally religious or spiritual through life, on his side. Just never give up and fight the fight with a smiling soul the play is infinitely more significant than the problem.

Your life is not your problem. your problem is a part of your life, it is not your life. Cross the river if it’s stormy on this side, but don’t keep cursing, crying, the river will flow anyway.

Life will go on and you will be left behind. what kills homes, families and individuals and may be you is not your problem, but in the way you perceive it. There is more good to your life than bad. and the bad will go, it all always ends in good. that’s why they’re all working there - for us.

There are only happy endings; it’s the interruptions that are sad. I know you will be very happy because that is the eternal promise made to us.
og mandino said it beautifully: just before you were born, just before you were coming out of your mother’s womb and into this world, god whispered to you - "you are my greatest miracle" and you will be loved by me through life." then we were delivered and we forget his last words to us. Remember god’s promise to you. Remember that when you go back to him, you will find everything repaired again. Nobody is unhappy, nobody is dead, nothing is wrong in an increasingly materialistic world, I have nothing to offer you, but this - in some enchanted place, when god is happy with you, you will find your loved one, your miracle, your greatest joy... and you will remember what you read today.

Believe in your faith, it will come true. Don't lose the belief incase of delays...

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Small joys of life!

2008-11-14T03:51:00.000-08:00

As I walk hand in hand with my husband learning to slow down in my last few days of pregnancy at the place that belongs to the common man... Worli sea face.

I am amazed to see or rather it brings a sweet smile on my face of how life gives happiness to everybody.
Sitting on the parapet that's just being renovated most couples sit oblivious to the world spending their best times together.

They sit all evening till finally the security guy whistles and gets them out through the rocks... Those times together always seemed to pass so fast. Some people look at the sea, soul searching waiting for it to reply to the questions in their life. Some others look up at the stars and wish life was beautiful and they achieve all they wish. Some stroll up and down having the conversation of their lifetime.

Some fitness freaks walk the talk and enjoy the freedom that the road offers unlike a gym, with no restrictions. Remember the road comes free and available 24/7.

Animal lovers love the no timings rule where they can spend quality time with their pets at any hour they desire.
Some people exercise in weird poses stretching their arms and legs not bothered wether people laugh at them or not

little children hugged and kissed the statue of the common man by R.K. Laxman not knowing who he was but sure someone important as he posed there. Tourists took pictures with him as memoirs of their visit to one of the tourists spots in Mumbai.

The ice cream vendor on the cycle ringing the bell with kids following him with the hope that their parents would buy them a small candy. A newly married couple sharing a candy that was melting in the Bombay heat but seemed like the best joy toy for them. They looked into each others eyes and shared the candy and laughed on their coloured lips.

An old couple maybe in their 80's where both of them supported and watched the path of the other as they walked along to ensure the other never falls.

A father running after his growing son as he learned to cycle along in life. He may hav ebeen a high profiled banker, a ceo, an ace surgeon but then he was a father.

Shedding all inhibitions people came to this space just to be... Who they were, which role they played nothing mattered. It was their time and they lived it.
Everything wasn't perfect but everybody was happy. Actually after a really longtime I saw that childlike happiness on so many faces at a go.
The simplicity of life is what touched that cord in my heart and made me appreciate small joys of life!!!

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Globality replacing Globalization

2008-10-23T06:32:00.000-07:00

A recent podcast got me to think of various boundaries that are fast diminishing between developing & developed economies. We all thought after Thomas Friedmans', “The world is flat” that the world is flat but if it was, then their would not be any competitive advantage. If all wage rates were common across the globe then globalization would not exist. But the reality is that the world is very spiky and that's precisely why this is happening. If the world had the same wage rates everywhere, we wouldn't be seeing the rise of ‘GLOBALITY’.

Globalization is actually over, a one-way street. It was about the companies from the U.S. and Europe, and then later on Japan, going to the rapidly developing economies with large populations and very low wage rates and either producing product or buying product, shipping it back to the developed markets, and then shipping over some very high-end and often luxury goods to those markets. So, it was fundamentally a one-way street.

What has changed over the last few years with the rise of the BRIC nations is the emergence of a two-way street. What we have seen over the last five years is not just companies from the West coming to India and China, etc., but companies from India, China, Russia and Brazil becoming real companies that are not just operating in their local markets, but are actually taking their rightful place on the global stage. And, in doing so, they are starting to challenge the traditional multinational companies. Now, it's a two-way street and a competition.

Companies that operate in environments with different spikes, such as low-cost labor, are beginning to use those spikes to their advantage. Then they can build on that advantage by investing in research and development, new product development and distribution.

The opportunities and threats are similar in both developed & developing economies Differential wage rates offer a tremendous advantage relative to companies in the developed economies where wages are expensive.
But if they sit back and just stay local, they'll end up losing the advantage over time, because companies compete on more than just wages. If you want to produce a low-end product, you can do it that way. But you'll need to step out into other markets to learn about how to bring the best of the rest of the world to bear on your own business and if you're not taking a global perspective, your competitors in India or China may come into your market and take your position. The balancing act will be critical and low cost alone won't be enough to win, because at this point in time all the BRIC nations are competing only on that front and there will eventually be a level playing field.

The developed economies or the mature markets must never ignore the potential of consumption of the developing economies. Today with China & India together offering 2.3 bn people of whom at least a billion would be consumers would only grow to add a billion people to your portfolio in the years to come. One of the best examples of this is Nokia and its head on strategy in China & India. They built a position in China in the early days, by selling the traditional way -- by offering a higher-cost Western product. No CUSTOMIZATION.

With the influx of low cost local manufacturers the demand increased from the rich to the masses and Nokia started to lose market share and Nokia was under attack.. Nokia defied the conventional response of retreating and instead moved its product development centre to China and customized for the Chinese consumers. Learning each country is different and nobody understands the consumer there better than their own people. You have to be there, you have to learn, and retreat is not an option.
Nokia regained its 30% market share in China. It then applied the same learning’s in the growing Indian market.

Also it’s only a local member who can bring in the dynamism & creativity that is brought in. e.g. would the developed economies have thought of introducing a car like the Nano. They would have never understood the need for a Nano to produce one. Localization does bring in the flavour.

With the economic downturn there will be more pressure to lower costs, which of course is one of the advantages of operating in developing economies. That may encourage even more Western companies to go beyond their own borders to lower costs, and may also create more opportunities for companies from the BRIC nations. It also may mean more outbound M&A from the developing world, which will give the emerging companies access to brands and technology, possibly at lower prices.

We definitely are heading to a two way street aren’t we?

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5 ways to drive traffic to your blog

2008-10-19T04:09:00.000-07:00

This is a subject that I guess is most googled by bloggers. How important is it for people to come to your blog?

The 5 key things that a bllogger must focus on are:
1. Write on relevant and current topics
2. Write on topics that would interest people
3. Ping it
4. Subscribe to a whole lot of other blogs that will help you promote it
5. Comment on other blogs frequently

Where is the content my friend I ask as I read these popular blogs?
Blogs are more often written as extensions and expressions of peoples personalities. They are views you would like to share with people. How can you customize content to what others would like to read and not what you believe in.

But the other side of the coin also says that if you want more and more poeple to know or believe in your thoughts you will have to get it across to more people. And for that if you have to do the above 5 with content as priority. I suggesst you do it but without compromising on content.

All good things in life also need a push...

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Indian Mujahideen or Simi

2008-10-19T01:34:00.000-07:00

With Terrorism spreading its reach across borders and especially in India and all the media trying to uncover who these so called extremists or jihadis are? After each terror strike he media does not fail to come out with a special on either the outfit responsible for the attack, or how it was performed, its impact,the strategy future repercursions.

How does it matter which outfit it is? Whether its the Al - Quaida, Indian Mujahideen, the Simi, LET, or any new outfit that's just mushroomed. The point is the belief and the extremism that these people believe in that needs to be attacked vs. the outfit.

The police will never be able to kill terrorism or erode it by chasing these outfits . Change the name and it anyways loses its identity, it's the thought, the belief, the fundamentalism, the hatred which is ingrained in these people that needs to be addressed. Unless that is done this battle is a lost one. it is foolish to fight this battle with mere names.

These fundamentalist don't belong to Islam, Christianity, Hinduim. They are people who want to create their own releigion and believe in what they want to believe in irrespective of what the religion teaches. They are criminals performing under the garb of religion.

My only plea would be don't run after the names, it's the cause that needs to be addressed.

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Sea of Change

2008-10-19T00:52:00.000-07:00

What a wonderful thing change can be and how much we resist it. Last week I met an old friend who had a few months ago given up his cushy job as an investment banker only to pursue his first love, teaching. He had to give up his well appointed Malabar Hill apartment, his club memberships, even his holidays abroad, but the peace and contentment on his face was worth seeing. He walked, lived likely finally he found his ground, his calling, his life. Of course there had been trepidation, would his daughter adjust to the change in lifestyle, school, miss the luxuries of life.

Did he deprive her of it, was he being selfish. Is giving up luxury for love foolish? Once the moment passes by those luxuries seem petty, those friends who didn’t hold on with your status change seem worthless.

If they didn’t support your calling they weren’t your friends. If you cease to be reason enough to your friends, you were definitely treading the wrong path. Change. How much we fear it. And how important it is for us to experience it. And any change, not only when good things happen to us, but also when the bad things occur.

Life is, as any enlightened sage will tell you, is a constant interplay of interconnected opposites, good and bad, happy and sad, kind and cruel. In what doses no one can say, but what s absolutely certain is that nothing lasts forever, and change is inevitable. We are all so adaptable that we will survive and learn the tricks of the new trade. After a while we will also enjoy the new trade. You will survive and then live. Its only a matter of time.

My friend who chucked his job as a banker now has time to read to his daughter, accompany his wife to the plays she longed to see hand in hand and read the book he always wanted. Its not all hunky dory, there are the inevitable lows as well. But he says for 24 years I hung on to my job as a banker and worked myself to sickness and death so frightened of losing it; or not reaching the top, or not performing to my bosses expectations. And then finally when I let go, the relief was so much. I confronted my worst fear and insecurity and found that I had still survived.

Change. See what you hold dear in your life, what you cling to, and hanker for. And be courageous and let go. Go with the flow, don’t surrender to life, be that unpredictable crazy river that decided her own course and is never scared to chase her dreams, her heart. Jump with out looking. And you will see that the safety net will always be there. It might not be the net you wanted. But something for someone will be there to break your fall, and hold you.

Change something. Anything. Remove just one thing, from your life, and see what life puts back in as a surprise.

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Cardiac Confusion

2008-10-19T00:06:00.001-07:00

Half of life's misery comes because of others in your life. Usually (and this is the supreme contradiction) it comes from those you love most. Your own nest becomes a noose; cactus grows in the mulberry bush. And you go blaming yourself. The others who hurt, trouble, torment ought to be the ones going through cause it's because of them that you are going through it, but what do you know – heart hammerer is out on a lucky limb and you are paying with the price of uncried tears.
Not just tears but restless days, sleepless nights and a carnival of cardiac confusion.
Get this straight: you will always be unhappy if you allow your happiness to be determined by other people. You will do your best, you will spray rose petals before they walk, but they won’t think a minute before walking over you or out on you. You give someone the key tp to your piece of mind and they will take your mind. Always the others. Nothing personal. It’s never personal. People hurt you because they are deficient in some way. People don’t respect you because they don’t know what respect means or is. People treat you badly because they don’t know otherwise. People cheat on you and get into adulterous affairs or cheap one night stands because they don’t know your worth – and in all probability their own.

The bad choices people make in their life, reflect on yours, in some divine way those who are out of your life are meant to be out. Don’t march to their doomed drums. It’s their upbringing. Their breeding. Their lifescape. You’re good you’re better than good, why are you raking their sanity? The problem is out there , not in you. If people don’t know who you are, then never mind how much they mean to you, ask them to go walk. Nobody, and I repeat nobody is worth the price of your self respect. In my life, self respect ranks higher than even love. You are a child of god. If god doesn’t treat you this way, who is anybody else to?
People see the world not as is, but as they are. People have their own luggage, their own scars, their own weaknesses, their own misery. Behind their own bravado their own life is falling apart so they try to make yours too. Don’t be fooled or awed by people who have power over you. They only have it because you have given it to them. Usually the biggest bullies are the biggest cowards. The ones who make the most noise are silenced souls. All the banter, swagger, tough-talk chaos a remarkably low opinion of self and life bereft of any joy.

Only unhappy people make others unhappy. Wife-beaters, cheating siblings, ungrateful lovers, rude bosses, callous youngsters, indifferent friends are all a reflection of their own inadequacies. A happy, balanced person will treat you well because that’s how a happy, balanced person is treated.
Today know most of your problems are not your problems but others people’s problems. You’re fine, you’re better than fine and you’ll get along fine. The best part of your life is you, the best friend is god and you’ve been burying yourself and god. God will never hurt you, it’s the wrong people you choose who do.

Life is beautiful, you are beautiful, it’s the outside world that is ugly. Just allow god in, then close the door, change the locks and bring the champagne out. I never feel sorry for who or what I’ve lost, I just feel sorry for the things and people who’ve lost me. Because I know the circle of life completes itself for the faithful. You’ll win in the end, but to win in the end, play your life with some more dignity, play it with grace, play it with gratitude and play it with the awesome love of god that is just waiting to be part of your life.

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Destiny

2008-09-30T05:04:00.001-07:00

It makes me laugh sometimes... Is ' Destiny' for real... is Life ruled by RULES ???

I love to discuss about the inevitable! love to think about it, love to debate about it. I sometimes wonder if everything is 'meant to be'.

There are more questions than answers here ... Just pondering... thinking again... wondering... if someone somewhere knows whats going to happen next! Next is a big word, Next is also a mystery for most of us!

On one side, there are all these rules that exist, systems of nature ... there are days and nights, there is logic to existence - we need food to survive, we need to love and be loved, we need to take a dump (well its a reality), Things that are a part of these set of rules that are a necessity to our existence...

On the other side... well there is this Chaos... organised chaos where in Destiny is just a way of blaming our wrongs and hoping for rights to come soon.

But again... we never know ... Life is amazing, it leaves me in sheer appreciation of the Force... Some call it 'God'!

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India on Sale!!!

2008-09-30T04:56:00.000-07:00

There is just such an influx of fashion in our country. And do not misunderstand fashion as only fashion in its true sense but instead lifestyle, as everything that you do wear, eat, dress, sleep, feel has to be coated with fashion or rather has to have fashion connotations. Tell me if it doesn’t?
India seats itself on the hot seat for everything now. The country that’s basks in the sunlight of brand attention be it in fashion, technology, service. India is the place to be. Everybody seems to find their niche among the 1.2 bn population that this country has to offer.

We see the latest auto cars which may be affordable by a handful of Indians make its presence felt in the country. Last 2 years we’ve seen the Rolls Royce, Porsche all pumping enough money to ensure they capitalize on the Indian boom.

We have magazines from the Condenast group trying to offer luxury reading to a select few who probably can read it but can’t understand it. I mean I read these magazines but in the most complicated formats and with pages galore that there is an information overdose.
The information is irrelevant and indigestible. First it was the great Vogue… synonymous with the bible of fashion and now it’s the GQ which is the ultimate luxury lifestyle magazine for men. It’s great but complicated. It can take you days to read through it. A great title to have either on your desk or your coffee table.

I understand the context of it being niche and luxury but the relevance to the Indian consumer is my question. There is just so much of it for the consumer to even fathom. Where are we even concerned of customizing anything for him? Be it in any genre of lifestyle.
The information that he receives is not customized, the product he receives does not appeal to him in totality either. The brands just believe that the consumer is a genius and will understand and comprehend all the information that brands have to offer. Do you think any human can sieve through 200 pages of fashion. Not me for sure. It’s impossible for any magazine to hold on a consumers attention for more than an hour and even more difficult for you to expect him to pick it up again after he’s gone through it once. I mean try and think hard when was the last time you went through a magazine for more than an hour and any content that induced you to pick it up again, please exclude the business & current affairs magazine. There is information loss due to lack of simplicity.

In the attempt to maintain the international appeal do not forget that the offering is irrelevant to him. Cool summer cardigans do not work in tropical Indian weathers, wearing dull pastel shades in the festive season never does work in this country where bright colours form a backdrop to everything in life. Black will never attain status of being an auspicious colour or Indian women will not suddenly grow tall to wear long flowy Gucci gowns.

Unlike in most countries where one city maybe a representative of the entire country, India is different & diverse and one needs to respect it. Bombay & Delhi are not representative of India.

I think what most brands forget to offer is simplicity. If they really understood India and its potential everything that the brands did would not be so superfluous.
There is such a small population that the brands believe that they need to address that they often leave out a huge potential. Actually the potential that you came chasing. The potential that you showcased in your presentations that helped your management decide that India is now ready as a market for my brand.

Simplify everything for your consumer, its not like he doesn’t understand it but he is so worn off time that he needs you to do it for him. Never under estimate the potential or over estimate your consumer.

India does have tremendous consumption capacity only if you have the right offering.

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The transcending lord

2008-09-28T06:44:00.000-07:00

Someone once told me that in India there are 5 things that can never fail to connect with Indians, religion, bollywood, cricket, politics & humour. But one of these is something that transcends itself even beyond India and that is Ganesha. I have never ever seen any god have so much pull.

He finds his abode not only at the biggest and richest of pandals but also in little huts, to palatial homes of celebrities & industrialists. It doesn’t matter if you are a gujarati, maharashtrian, Punjabi or Sindhi. Then the communalism between Hindus and Muslims appears to cease.

I think its a great idol that has been converted into a great product by people which is marketed in whatever form to generate a lot of revenue.

He hasn’t restricted his presence only to the temples but also to cute idols which one wants to keep with him all the time. In his new car, new home, with a new life partner, while traveling. He is suddenly a mascot of great and cute gifts. He has made his space at all the gift shops from Archies, Satyams, Hallmark or any popular gift store. He transcends across mediums like music,art, television soaps, festivals, occassions.

It’s the faith that he has ignited of being a true vighna harta that we believe in. It’s just his presence alone that will destroy the evil. It’s the faith with which people walk to him after all their problems are accomplished, it’s the faith that makes people of Mumbai walk to Sidhivinayak on every Tuesday no matter where they live.

When is it that this little cute lord made himself so popular.
Is it faith or cult? I wonder!

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Global brands in globalization of emerging economies

2008-09-03T06:24:00.000-07:00

India is the hot focus of many brands. Last year we had so many brands come in, in all genres of life like food, lifestyle, services, etc. Each year we keep on adding to the brands and the hungama that happens around it.
All international brands claim that they translate the best consumer experience for you from across the globe. But the truth is that brands still haven't been able to do it.

Do Indian brands service better? I remember when Hyundai first entered India while everybody loved the car, the service and availability of spare parts was still an issue to ponder. Maruti beat all the other players on account of best service and its accessibility & availability in the remotest areas in the country.

I am not here to generalize or make statements but the fact is that most of my experiences with global brands have made me believe and translate my beliefs into words. A recent experience that shook me and only strengthened my belief was Mac. Donald's. Promises smiles, fun a great family experience moving away from the platform of great yummy food as that has become a hygiene factor for them. Everybody probably knows what Mac food tastes like. But my smiles at Mac soon vanished when I found a living worm in my burger. I complained at the outlet, wrote to their customer service email address, but nobody heard me or even bothered to write back.

I was so disappointed that it just completely shook me and I narrated my experience to atleast 10 other friends. What amazed me was obviously the hygiene level that a chain of this magnitude operates at and secondly that they didn't even have the audacity to write back. Do they believe that Indians who want a burger for 20 Rs have no right to demand for quality products?

There are a lot of other brands that haven't particularly impressed me in their customer service one of them is the world's favourite Mac. A Mac customer is so passionate that he anyways knows his product and brand well but the store staff can still be atleast a little bit useful instead of being arrogant and having minimal product knowledge. All the customer expects him to do is share his passion

I’m sure all of us can think of lots of instances when we felt that global brands service standards vary from city to city, country to country and continent to continent. I would like to leave you with a question:

Is it because it's India that it doesn't matter?

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Mirror mirror on the wall

2008-08-09T20:41:00.000-07:00

All that is beautiful is white. It’s not an Indian syndrome alone, so don’t view it like that. It’s not the belief of the past, the roots are strongly embedded that it has its relevance even today.

It’s not restricted to women alone it transcends to men as well. The first black president Barack Obama vs. former white first lady Hilary Clinton. Why did Michael Jackson change his colour then? Why from the black to a white.

It’s not restricted to humans alone it extends to animals as well. The white cat is the cute purr pussy while the black is evil & witchy. The white brown dog finds his place in your lap while the dark black dog at the gate. The grey pigeon is a victim of abundance while the white one is a sight to spot.

To think of it as a matter of past would be closing your eyes to it. Fair has its roots in the Hindu mythology with all the goddesses and lead protagonist all fair & lovely. Be it Radha, Sita, Parvati, Durga, Saraswati or the most worshipped Laxmi. Their imagery in our mind and the pictures and idols we grew up worshipping were all fair & pink.
Kali is probably the only goddess that i can think of who is dark but also is someone whom we are scared of. Why are we scared of her is because she is dark & kills the evil.

Simple things like a day & night, why are we always so scared of the dark. Why do the ghosts & evil spirits come out only in the dark?

The formative years of our life, our childhood, we grew up reading fairy tales of Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Beauty and the Beast. Fairy tales children’s best imagination was painted with fair is beautiful, black or dark is evil.
Barbie the biggest filament of male imagination and the first girl friend you want is fair, tall and beautiful.
As we grow up and get to know some more the comics that we read beginning from Archie, Veronica was always fair and sexy. Veronica was always the girlfriend and Betty always the friend. Fair always gets you to be the first fiddle.

Do you remember reading any Mills & Boons without the FPB syndrome? Were any of the men’s fantasies sans this syndrome? For those of you wondering what FPB is, it’s Fair, Petite and Beautiful

Venus Williams may be the better tennis player but Anna kournikova & Maria Sherapaova are still the pin up girls.

Films the biggest and truest reflection of our society is so true to this. Halle Berry is the ‘sexy siren’ while Julia Roberts is a fine beautiful actress. Hema Malini was ‘dream girl’ while Smitha Patil was a talented actress, she was never attributed to being beautiful.
Why is it that the fair girl gets to play the leading lady and the dark one only a supporting actress?

There are so many qualities & feelings associated with being fair:
“Colours come alive on the fair”
“Only if you are fair can you wear red”
“Being fair gives me the unfair advantage”
“Gives me the natural confidence to achieve”
“Beta kaisa bhi ho bahu to gori chitti hi chahiye”
“Fair is always right”
“Fair always attracts male admiration” – My Fair Lady
“Fairness opens a world of possibilities”
“Fairness is an attribute I can pass on to the next generation”
“The colour of your skin decides the colour of your clothes”
“Fairness the magnet of envy”
“If I had a wish I want to be fair”

It’s such a desirable attribute that it runs across strata’s of society “from the maid to the memsaab.”

While fair is still a boon the dark will catch up.

These insights are what beauty companies thrive on; there are activists who blame them for creating this discrimination. I would rather say they have just showcased an existing menace in a positive light; the bigger issue is which the society needs to address.

These are only a few instances, I’m sure when we walk through life everyday there must be so many more instances that reminisce us either of times where we felt good being fair or wish we were fair. It will also remind you that it’s not only the step mother in snow white who asks the mirror on the wall, “Mirror mirror on the wall who is the fairest of us all?”

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Smile

2008-07-12T21:46:00.001-07:00

A few lines that I wrote years ago which made sense then now and forever

To smile in victory is easy,
to show a brave face in defeat, difficult

How do I take defeat?
How do I accept a set back to my plans?
Can I control my feelings when i experience disappointment?
Can I start again with courage after a first or second failure?

Do I find excuses, sulk, be bitter, complain to everybody when things go wrong,
when I think I have beensnubbed, when a better man has been given the chance I anticipated?

Adversity and contradictions bring out strong characters and help strengthen them.
Criticism should be an eye opener as regards to shortcomings

Our self relaince and conceit, our vanity and pride collapse under the blows of failure as butter melts in the sun.
Lack of success makes us reconsider our plans, concentrate our energies and improve our methods.

Most discoveries are the result of repeated efforts in the face of opposition, of tenacious will power restartng hundreds of experiments, all ending in failure except the last.
We will not be judged by our successes but according to our endeavours.

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Fool's Paradise

2008-07-01T08:54:00.000-07:00

Hmmm! an expression used more often than not by fool's who live in this eternal hope that life will come to them. They wait for things to happen and wait till eternity for things to happen, things to be in equilibrium not knowing that life never reaches an equilibrium!!!
To have a balance in life or to achieve all that you want in life is only wishful thinking. It's a notional phase which is never true. We keep thinking let me achieve this and I will do this let me achieve this and I will start this... let this project get over let me get this promotion... let me enjoy this one last year... Alas! life doesn't stop and problems never cease to exist.

Only if man was such a content animal, there would be no problem. Only if we never stopped wishing would life be much better. Every time we climb a step up in the ladder of life we feel higher than some & lower than some. The lower than some always pinches us more and our lust for more out of life only increases.

A lot of people have this question in their minds at different stages in their life that recurr time & again...when is the right time to fall in love, the right time to start a job, right time to finish my education, right time for me to say yes to my girlfriend, right time for marriage, right time for children, right time to quit smoking, right time to strike a work life balance, right time to focus on health and start hitting the gym from tom, right time to look beyond me, right time to give sometime to your relationships...your priorities... there is this no right time... no right person. I know some people in this quest of the right time & right person have spent so many years alone, in misery waiting for things to happen, cupid to knock on their doors, careers wasted, skills unused... regrets left by... people left behind...stories untold, emotions unexpressed...only becuase it wasn't the right time. There will never be a perfect time a perfect person.

What makes you feel right today who makes you feel perfect today is the right time and right person in your life. Time & people keep changing so its obvious that, that perfect moment will also change. so what seems right now seems like a mistake tom, who seems like your soulmate today may seem your worst enemy tom.
Men fear marriage... committment babies... but its really that moment that you thought would never happen to you and you are not ready for it... my friend you will never be ready for it. It's not only men... we as people are never ready for changes... it's just women have higher anticipation skills and the excitement to do something new makes them accept it & make decisions much faster... Trust me it's a change for them as well.

We plan so much in our lives... dates, marriage, proposals, interviews, schedules, careers, babies, love, old age, death...

Only if life went according to plans there would be no fools in the paradise.

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The road less traveled

2008-07-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

A lot of changes in the last couple of months made me realize that all that it seems is not what it is.

I'm not stating the unobvious but its just that its a realization thats now confirmed. The way up the corporate ladder is quite dirty. Step up is always up and down in values. Someone once told me which I strongly now believe in, there will always be time when you will need to decide whether you want it or not? And at what price? The price is what you pay for your thoughts turn into values. The values that you set for yourself and never ever compromise on those.
I thought the change would be tough to let go and start again but to my surprise I held on to the roots for a long time moving along with the change. I didn't adjust to the mediocrity but infact only emerged stronger in valuing what I had and now confident of what i will not want from my future.

On my journey i realized how shallow people were. I could see through them to see that they pretended to be who they were not... how others sucked up to these people and thought they were only securing their future. People who had such low security levels and obviously hollow confidence levels. But I sailed through all this, I stood with my values didn't give into what I didn't believe was right and what i thought was against my integrity.

I realized how people would pay any price to ensure they secure their position and at any cost.

For me it was a path i decided not to tread and I know I will pay a price for it. I remember this poem by Robert Frost which has been with me forever, The Road not taken, and the excerpts read...
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Summer Capital of India

2008-06-22T04:46:00.000-07:00

Ya I am talking about Shimla... My trips most of the time are quite random, unplanned, adventurous... unconventional...finding the quaintest spots on my own but this time don’t know why I wanted to be a tourist and be left to everything the place had to offer ... so just set off with my husband... We flew to Delhi like a corporate couple these days and then from Delhi to Kalka by train... it was a n over night journey but was so easy chilled out... I was really excited about the train journey its always made me remember of old days when an outing way snot complete without a train journey... the sound of the train... the swaying of the passengers, those vendors en route it just completes the feeling of a holiday sans the corporatization and service standards... I feel like an Indian chutti... reaching Kalka at 4 in the morning and one cool sardarji cabbie taking us to shimla... we fell asleep on our way up the hilly mountains... and reached shimla at 6 n the morning. We checked into one of the oldest hotels in shimla on mall road the Clarkes... so British...

while I was all set after breakfast to tread the slopes of shimla it reminded of all north Indian hill stations... one mall road with lots of shops and food stalls alongside... then it reaching a town hall where people gather weekend after weekend pretending to enjoy it like it offers something new every weekend??? One little post office... one tourism office which tells you all you can do on your holiday. One rooftop restaurant that serves authentic Indian cuisine and attracts all the newly married couples as a perfect photo spot.

I surrendered myself completely to observe people just while they found their happiness in shimla. Most honeymoon couples clicked their pictures in the local dresses and that was such a big attraction...
we decided to visit kufri as well and it was amazing to see cartels of horse owner with riders who were paid peanuts to trudge horses to lots of kms on a hilly stony path to see snow and come back... the site was quite beautiful but so much torture to humans and animals... but on way to kufri what amazed me was the influence of bollywood there were 6 yaks and they were named after bollywood celebs... like kajol & ajay... sagar & sweety, kareena and shahid... and the owners of these yaks screamed " arre kajol or ajay ke saath photo le lo" dus rupiya only, 10 Rs only sir" I did not wanna stand next to yak and take a picture but was amazed at human intelligence to generate revenue options...wow
We returned back from kufri and on our way back I filled my lungs with fresh mountain air and was happy to just surrender as a tourist and do all the things that are created by man against the backdrop of nature to create a revenue generating opportunity...

Tech Infidelity

2008-03-26T07:57:00.000-07:00

Before you get judgemental and think I'm suffereing from it, take a step back and think aren't you? Technology has just made life so easy and everything and everybody so accessible for us. Until yesterday we yearned to be connected today we switch off our cell phones to be disconnected. Ya and these days its not one but 2 cell phones that you are dealing with. I know people who dread that one phone and are already struggling with the second one. Do we want to be connected all the time? Are we insecure if we are not connected? Probably yes, if I am not around someone else will do it... ya proabably someone else will... but thats the choice one makes that how much do you want to let go off? This connectivity syndrome is what is leading to more and more couples stretching themselves over time zones trying to accomodate all that they can, to ensure they are " Connected". Over a cup of chai and the daily tabloid i read these interesting celeb Q&A's where they ask you, things you won't leave your house without and most of them say my cell phone. Some say my Ipod, there has to be technology... Some questions go if you were marooned on an island who would you be with? And the answer goes my Ipod. The role that these techie things play in peoples lives is amazing.
People earlier struggled with people then came work and now its technology. Its amazing how we dont realize how gradually from a balanced life we gradually changed our preferences. Earlier one of the spouse was working and the other created the balance. Gradually our greed and the need ensured that both the partners work. So we sliced those 12 hours of togetherness further to 8 hours of togetherness. Then came technology where those 8 hours of togetherness are also sliced and has come down to probably 6. Earlier we dreaded that if we as a couple do not spend enough time together he/she might look outside the relationship and be involved with someone else, then came the extended working hours where people distinctly spent less time together and hence proximities at work started to rise. But now that's passe, today probably there is no time for the first two but i make time for the third.
Often wonder what is that lends people to tech infidelity, probably the need to be updated, cause today every interaction is an opportunity to cast an impression, the more abreast & updated you are the cooler you are perceived to be... Or is it the need to 'fit in' or technology gives me the space I need... ya the battle for space... or is just so informative & accessible that I want it... Ya may be it is. Today everything is a click away so all my acts are probably governed by what Googles top 10 search results are...Why do we wake up and want to see the news like the world collapsed while we were asleep, or we need our IPODS' on, while we are at our morning walk. Probably Google sends me more sms's than my husband does.
And ofcourse i cant forget the Blackberry...its like the world at your fingertips... a spy gaurd your bosses installed in you in the name of seniority and a must for managers. I check my blackberry when i wake up, while I'm brushing, while I'm in the loo... just when i finished my bath(how some people would wish it was water proof) while i'm driving... over lunch... during meetings... while fetching my children from school... while playing with them in the garden... over a family dinner... in the midlle of a dance... the list doesnt end.
Our lives are governed by ringtones and sms tones... ha ha ha ha... never thoght it would get here... So my friends its not another person who is eating into your spouses time... its that ringtone thats the intruder.
Technology is great... I love it but if you really love it learn from it...
Learn to switch on and off...

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To, The Prime Minister…

2007-07-09T03:38:00.000-07:00

ToThe Prime Minister…

This is just to say that I would not like to pay any more tax in a country where I do not get the benefits of the investments that we make. In a city that is always in news for the undying spirit that it exudes to all calamities and mishaps that it faces repeatedly.

As a citizen of this country I do not feel why things happen the way they do… I do not understand why illiterate people are part of the parliament, why politicians are richer than most intelligent & successful companies put together. Why a name that is nominated for the esteemed post of the president is a name that is not associated with any good doings or development or progress related issues but to scams & frauds.

Why no deadlines are met. Why can’t we follow a strictly corporate approach to this problem of being a backward country? We may aspire to be the most sought after nation that is so handicapped and crippled by the people who run it and abused by the people who enter and live in it.
As leaders of the company why can’t we look up to any of the politicians today and say that’s the person I want to be like? Why cant we meet the targets set. Why can’t be people be sacked for non performance. Why are our politicians not stressed about meeting their budgets/commitments? Why is that their children get free of cost funds/ loans from the costliest universities and a common man has to mortgage the ‘punji’ of his life to ensure basic education of his children?

Today ask any citizen of this country especially from Mumbai and ask him if the city of his dreams has eased any of his struggles. We pay the highest interest rates, highest tax rates, highest duties & charges, highest rental rates but what have we got in return.

There is just no ownership of the illiterate ministers who are hired in your cabinet. All the public expects from you is corruption, corruption and some more corruption. Simple facilities like public toilets cannot be used by a common man. They are used by the beggars and the neighbouring slum dwellers. When you land at the Indian airports to get a taxi, it takes half an hour. The taxi drivers fleece the customers asking them to pay them more as they have to wait for hours in the line and have to pay the cops to get into the line and get a fare. So at every stage it’s the common man who is paying for the corruption that you have induced into the system. There are fines & taxes for the common man but not for the politicians & cops who eat maximum paan and spit on the road or sometimes even pee on the road, who do not pay any tax but eat into the taxes & project fees. We can illustrate more examples that you could possibly read Mr Prime Minister!!!

There is a certain amount of elasticity that anything can support after which it will break. We refuse to stretch any further until are questions are answered and accountability is generated. If you think you guys are incapable then please let us know we would be more than willing to join politics and let people have the right they deserve.

Hope you have answers to the questions of 1.3 bn Indians!!!

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Discovering India!!!

2007-05-28T05:08:00.000-07:00

A sudden plan, a great adventure, lots of unknown people. This weekend was a great or rather a different one. I went to Rishikesh, to pursue my passion for adventure sports. A trip influenced by quick decisions of Gen Y and booming economy that lets you spend guilt free. One on way to Rishikesh we passed though UP with the trademark Indian roads with potholes that can comopletely jam your back and ensure you cant sleep en route. The drive to rishikesh ended into a beautiful cottage on the banks of the river Ganga. The morning dawned with rays of sun beaming through my room and asking me to breathe some fresh air. I thought to myself when was the last time I felt so good, rejeuvenated, so full of energy rearing to go. The white sand the cold water a funny guide all made it a great trip. On our way to the 26 km rafting trip there were so many learnings of how a pahadi guy could speak more languages that I could. While rafting with so many groups of people from different countries he had learnt or rather figured out his way to communicate and ensure inspite of the language barrier, people what have a great time and would go back with lots of memories. He not only taught us how to raft but also broke a whole lot of inhibitions... he said a really nice thing...here it goes... Its often ok if you dont know how to swim but never be afraid of the water." While we went along with a few small rapids, some big he shared with us how adventure sports is not only about friends together or family together having a great time...but have become great corporate training grounds. From team building, to potential gauging, we can design activities with whatever message you wish to share. (Who ever said great innovations come only from board room meetings). Towards the end of our rafting trip we all jumped into the cold waters of the Ganga, shedding all our inhibitions, surrending ourselves to the calm waters, oblivion to the world of mobile phones, blackberrys, and all technology that remotely connects us to problems.
Our beautiful trip ended with a feeling of achievement...thrill...like all materialistics minds complete VFM...
On our way back it was a rather quiet journey...with the peace and the calm that made me sleep like a baby...and a feeling saying There is so much to India!!!left to be explored...

What’s in a name?

2007-05-20T08:44:00.000-07:00

It’s been over a year since I have a new identity. A name that I couldn’t possibly identify with, may be didn’t wanna be associated with (it was then), a name I wouldn’t react to when called out for. I remember my unique surname in school was my identity. The unique bit was though it sounded like a Maharashtrian surname, I was a gujrati, though the Maharashtrian bit really helped at all government offices. I remember seeing my name on the school & college notice board for all my results and all my years of growing up and now with a new name I just feel…

But like all humans I got seasoned into it. I saw a whole lot of people who stuck with their identities but lost their individuality a whole lot of people who changed their identities but could not let go off the I.

Even I had to take a call what I wanted to do. While technically it makes sense to change your name, passports, ration cards, other documents so you face less grief from our government but I was still reluctant. There was this feeling of being cut off from the roots of a big tree that always protected me all my life to a new sapling whose foundation I have to lay. I don’t know if it will offer the same protection as the big tree.

None the less I got my name changed soon after marriage but I think it was only on paper and not something that I wanted to be associated with. But today after a year it’s different, may be because I’m more confident of my roots in my new environment as well. Because like any confused 25 year old I’ve understood that marriages are not about letting go off you but building a better you. It’s not letting go off you as a person but taking on what you miss from the other. Some people keep both their names; I think that is also a great idea but rather long and a little confusing for people around.

Today I have a new name and I’m ok with it because I know it’s only adding to me, I guess if I didn’t believe in that I wouldn’t be able to accept it forever.
Don’t accept till you believe in it and it will always work!!!

Noise to some & Music to the others!!!

2007-05-09T00:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a really hard day at work, actually not the best days at work. I was coming back from work at about 9.p.m. tired after traveling for an hour, dreaming of things that I wish to achieve but are a little far away, Thinking of things that have slipped away on my journey uphill.
Actually one of those days when you talk to yourself, talk to god, question him for his doings, and ask him what’s the good in the bad… While I was getting off the bus there was this loud music playing on the roads. And I said to myself why is there yet another procession and people causing traffic jam in Mumbai when the city is already so jammed. While I was crossing the roads there were these people I don’t know what you call them but who pierce sharp objects through their body and carry out a procession, why they do that I don’t know, like people are not hurting enough.
As I crossed the road, it was amazing to see how people after a hard days work were stuck in that traffic jam and wondering when are they going to get home. Some were in big cars and some in small. Some in cabs with their loved ones, holding hands, looking into each others eyes, oblivious to the blaring noise outside.( Love not only turns you blind but deaf also!!!). Some sitting in the car enjoying the music in their car. Some looking out like Mumbai cabbies do and wondering why this guy in the front is not moving? Some working on their laptop or reading. A guy actually doing nothing caught my eye, he looked at blank space and was may be thinking… of what’s gonna happen next… is he gonna make it, not make it, will all the problems pass by, will it ever dawn, can he quickly see what’s in future and come back to present to decide his next move… it was one of those times in the day when all that’s in the subconscious mind comes rushing in and blanks you out completely…
After I crossed the road I saw a little kid on the street maybe about 2 years dancing away to the procession music and enjoying it like it’s the best thing that happened to him in the day. May it was the best for him… but for me he was the best thing that happened in the day. Just seeing the joy on his face made me feel…
Life’s tough but not bad…

Oh! one last time

2007-05-03T09:55:00.001-07:00

More often than not we say "ok honey from tomorrow, tonites the last time". This is the statement you hear most often from your loved ones, colleagues and ya your conscience...

How many times have you woken up to go the gym and said to yourself, I will definitely go from tomorrow, let me sleep the last time today, A husband tells his wife I will quit smoking from tomorrow, let me smoke one last time today, when your colleague makes a mistake and tells you alright this is the last time I'm doing this, I will be careful from the time hereon.

Does that one last time come, do you really quit the next time, are you honest the next time... these are all questions you wish we could answer but its really weird, tough and ya sometimes impossible...

Time is too short get up and go to the gym today tomorrow is always late... stop smoking today... tomorrow is too late... make no mistakes today...tomorrow maybe too late...

The most important time is now, you never know if the same circumstances will exist tomorrow, you never know if the same people will be there tomorrow... the most important time is now.

It's the only time you have control over...so don’t procrastinate today...instead act today...

Do all things you always wanted to do… go by the country side... sleep under the stars…go to ladakh…learn a language… bake that perfect cake… play a musical instrument…sing a song to your girlfriend…tell your parents you love them…read the gita to your grandmom whose eyesight has now gone blur…be a horse to your kids who always yearned for your time…help an underprivileged child…

Do it now, tomorrow is too late!!!

Marriages are forever!!!

2007-05-03T09:54:00.001-07:00

It’s a concept that’s passé or do I believe in it. I want to believe its forever. That’s how mom told me it should be. I saw a film off late, “Metro”, it was a very over the top depiction of lives of people in the city. (Was it over the top or I want to believe all this happens only in the movies).

You know when people who boasted about their married life soon after marriages, people mocked at them saying, dude it’s only a year wait for some more and lets talk then. I wonder what happens then. Do people take each other for granted; they lose interest in each other, do other things take priority.

What, what makes this toy lose its charm? In the movie there was a couple who lost themselves to work, frustration, one of the two sacrificing their ambitions, taking aback seat in the career to let the other accelerate. One couple where the guy was clear and the girl confused of what she really wanted in life!!!(Don’t we all go through this). One where both liked each other, unaware of what the other felt, but couldn’t let go off their dreams.

Great story and so normal…doesn’t this happen to all of us. I know of so many couples who have separated in their minds long ago but are still together to face the world. They know they are either best together emotionally or physically. But incomplete together.

They both have parted their ways and are with different people just completing the roof for their children. Their philosophy is ‘If I don’t see it, it doesn’t harm me’. What kind of philosophy is that, but it works for them…

Then there are also people who inspite of the cracks want to make it work… because they believe its forever… or maybe they don’t know how else to be. They have reached complacency and don’t want to know how it would be otherwise. I think people who are in this state are not weak as you would want to call them. May be they are the only ones who haven’t looked out of their marriages and somewhere atleast made an attempt to keep the institution going.

I think it’s the easiest and most foolish to let things fall apart especially after you have invested so much in it. Trust me holding on is tougher then letting go. Why don’t people realize that they have invested so much of themselves in it, it may be just take a little more to make it work after all there are pleasant memories even now. I’m in no way proposing misery, if it causes that, its time to move on. But never let go off without atleast trying, may be it could be forever

Bargain

2007-04-24T22:05:00.000-07:00

It’s so strange when you are in search for something or want something you make that your mission all the way and chase it completely, because that’s the time you are focused in achieving only that one goal…And after you get you wonder did I really want it. Strange na , sometimes its like a medicine , you take it then to get that temporary relief without realizing the harm it will cause in the future. Nothing comes in isolation, everything is a package deal. Pros & Cons are a part of every gift that you have received, have got and will receive.
You ask for one relationship and it ties you down with so many more… Today everything is materialistic, everything works only on one rule Give = Take.
We all keep bargaining trying to get the best deals out of everything and everybody.
Be it in our relationships, where you expect the other to squeeze out every bit of him and surrender to the other. Where you just take it for granted that no she is my wife, she will do it… no she will have to understand, she’s my girlfriend… Give, give, give no don’t worry this is the last time… or ok this is the last time…please do it for my sake…Please god make this happen and I will give you this… make my son get a good job and I will come walking to siddhi vinayak… Oh! I will get him also, but please make this happen…Bargaining has the same sounds everywhere. With a street hawker it sounds like this…"no not Rs 5 I will pay only RS 4,” With a kid, “don’t harass me and I will give you a chocolate”, at a saree store, no not RS 3000 I will pay only RS 2000.” Everywhere the tunes are the same, only the pitches keep changing.
I think the funniest is the bargain with god. I’ll tell you why… coz you are taking rather than getting it from him and exchanging it with what you don’t have today. At the end of day it all belongs to him. Its all his after all… give him something that belongs to you… that is exclusively yours… like your soul, your bhakti, your efforts, your hard work, your humanity, your sacrifice.
To give what does not belong to you is trade and to give away what is yours is ‘sacrifice’.
And trust me guys in today’s day and age trade beats sacrifice hands down