Indian Emotional Attyachaar

This one is clean, simple easy. We as Indians love the rona, dhona, sacrifice and playing sad songs at every occasion. While I was at moms the other day and she watched some crappy soap on TV where the women were all piling on to another woman and she cried and howled but in vain. Switch to another soap where the daughter is getting married and inspite of the fact that we cry on certain songs like “ye galiyan, ye chobara, yahaan aana na dobara….from Prem Rog, the girl was insistent on danciong to that song. Now don’t we all know that yes leaving moms is a really big toughie but got to do it and then to instigate those tears we play these emotional songs that make us cry? While I went back to my wedding days thinking of my sangeet(song & dance evening) my mom was already crying thinking of her daughters abroad and how they have been married for so long, and work so hard and they haven’t come home for so long….phew…mom, mom, mom I said, please relax….but the ganga jamuna saraswati had to flow.

We as Indians just love all this emotional drama, that’s why our movies which are actually a reflection of our society exhibit this so well. Think of all those movies for a while that made you cry…Masoom, Hum aapke hain kaun, actually all the Karan Johar & sooraj Barjatiya types. We love the pain & pathos. Think of all those times when you listened to songs continuously that made you cry….Whenever we see something sad, we want to believe that it’s happening to us or could happen to us and we get so involved in the whole process that it makes us weak. When we see someone sick or unhappy we immediately empathize thinking god please this should never happen to me.

Our reason to connect and belong is what gets us caught into this emotional drama all the time. We are so into each others lives and space that everything affects us all the time. And women especially believe that all the bad and good of fiction will definitely happen to them so they always want to be ready all the time. Sounds familiar huh! Think of all those times when you asked (if you are a girl)/ you were asked by your girlfriend after a watching a movie about infidelity, “will you ever be disloyal to me?”, or “will you ever cheat on me for any other woman?” Or after a great show on travel & living or a bolly flick shot in some well shot international locale, “Baby when will we go to such beautiful places”. You never take me anywhere…no you don’t love me…when was the last time you gave me a gift.” For women materialistic gifts have a longer memory, only because we can flaunt it. So men by default are always wrong.

So coming back to moms while I was there for my brief stay with her we watched all the sangeet DVD’s of all my sisters and my wedding… my mom cried and blushed as she saw her daughters perform and thought nobody can dance better than her daughters. I spent the rest of the two days with lots of fun and followed the soaps that they watched religiously on TV that persuaded me to write about Emotional Attyachaar

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Building the nest!

It was a regular Wednesday morning while I was feeding my baby her breakfast by the window sill showing her trees, flowers, cycles, dogs and birds. The birds were fluttering enjoying the weather and loved the winter sun. A constant chirp caught my ears and as I tried tracing that sound I saw a little sparrow build her nest on a tree near my house. I observed her intently and saw how she found fine pieces of straw, grass, wires and build a warm cozy nest for her little babies to arrive. She didn’t know if it was the best nest, how long will it take, is it better than the others, she just kept building to ensure it is safe for her babies.

I looked at my little baby and kissed her as I saw how life is a journey and you keep accumulating so many things on the way. You start with probably nothing and gradually en route you pick up values, culture, friends, siblings, education, knowledge, lovers, soul mates, life partners, enemies, cars, house, gadgets, experiences…

There are times when all that you’ve collected on your way is all lost and you need to start all over again and you’ve lost all energy and enthusiasm, all things material but you still have the education, knowledge, friends, parents, siblings, love and experience. Nobody can ever take that away from you and that’s all that you need to get all that you’ve lost back. So bounce back and you will see that slowly and gradually the hard work and patience will pay off and all that you wanted will be yours of course the struggle is also yours.

Also the person who has lost it all and starts again is fearless and is never scared of trying or innovating as he has now fear to lose or fall. He will succeed a lot more that he was earlier as he now does what he always wanted to do and his way. He also values things a lot more and will therefore always think more rationally and sensibly than earlier.
So build your nest today with all things necessary and don’t lose patience in your journey to get those little pieces together. It’s only a matter of time.

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Small joys of life!

As I walk hand in hand with my husband learning to slow down in my last few days of pregnancy at the place that belongs to the common man... Worli sea face.

I am amazed to see or rather it brings a sweet smile on my face of how life gives happiness to everybody.
Sitting on the parapet that's just being renovated most couples sit oblivious to the world spending their best times together.

They sit all evening till finally the security guy whistles and gets them out through the rocks... Those times together always seemed to pass so fast. Some people look at the sea, soul searching waiting for it to reply to the questions in their life. Some others look up at the stars and wish life was beautiful and they achieve all they wish. Some stroll up and down having the conversation of their lifetime.

Some fitness freaks walk the talk and enjoy the freedom that the road offers unlike a gym, with no restrictions. Remember the road comes free and available 24/7.

Animal lovers love the no timings rule where they can spend quality time with their pets at any hour they desire.
Some people exercise in weird poses stretching their arms and legs not bothered wether people laugh at them or not

little children hugged and kissed the statue of the common man by R.K. Laxman not knowing who he was but sure someone important as he posed there. Tourists took pictures with him as memoirs of their visit to one of the tourists spots in Mumbai.

The ice cream vendor on the cycle ringing the bell with kids following him with the hope that their parents would buy them a small candy. A newly married couple sharing a candy that was melting in the Bombay heat but seemed like the best joy toy for them. They looked into each others eyes and shared the candy and laughed on their coloured lips.

An old couple maybe in their 80's where both of them supported and watched the path of the other as they walked along to ensure the other never falls.

A father running after his growing son as he learned to cycle along in life. He may hav ebeen a high profiled banker, a ceo, an ace surgeon but then he was a father.

Shedding all inhibitions people came to this space just to be... Who they were, which role they played nothing mattered. It was their time and they lived it.
Everything wasn't perfect but everybody was happy. Actually after a really longtime I saw that childlike happiness on so many faces at a go.
The simplicity of life is what touched that cord in my heart and made me appreciate small joys of life!!!

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Cardiac Confusion

Half of life's misery comes because of others in your life. Usually (and this is the supreme contradiction) it comes from those you love most. Your own nest becomes a noose; cactus grows in the mulberry bush. And you go blaming yourself. The others who hurt, trouble, torment ought to be the ones going through cause it's because of them that you are going through it, but what do you know – heart hammerer is out on a lucky limb and you are paying with the price of uncried tears.
Not just tears but restless days, sleepless nights and a carnival of cardiac confusion.
Get this straight: you will always be unhappy if you allow your happiness to be determined by other people. You will do your best, you will spray rose petals before they walk, but they won’t think a minute before walking over you or out on you. You give someone the key tp to your piece of mind and they will take your mind. Always the others. Nothing personal. It’s never personal. People hurt you because they are deficient in some way. People don’t respect you because they don’t know what respect means or is. People treat you badly because they don’t know otherwise. People cheat on you and get into adulterous affairs or cheap one night stands because they don’t know your worth – and in all probability their own.

The bad choices people make in their life, reflect on yours, in some divine way those who are out of your life are meant to be out. Don’t march to their doomed drums. It’s their upbringing. Their breeding. Their lifescape. You’re good you’re better than good, why are you raking their sanity? The problem is out there , not in you. If people don’t know who you are, then never mind how much they mean to you, ask them to go walk. Nobody, and I repeat nobody is worth the price of your self respect. In my life, self respect ranks higher than even love. You are a child of god. If god doesn’t treat you this way, who is anybody else to?
People see the world not as is, but as they are. People have their own luggage, their own scars, their own weaknesses, their own misery. Behind their own bravado their own life is falling apart so they try to make yours too. Don’t be fooled or awed by people who have power over you. They only have it because you have given it to them. Usually the biggest bullies are the biggest cowards. The ones who make the most noise are silenced souls. All the banter, swagger, tough-talk chaos a remarkably low opinion of self and life bereft of any joy.

Only unhappy people make others unhappy. Wife-beaters, cheating siblings, ungrateful lovers, rude bosses, callous youngsters, indifferent friends are all a reflection of their own inadequacies. A happy, balanced person will treat you well because that’s how a happy, balanced person is treated.
Today know most of your problems are not your problems but others people’s problems. You’re fine, you’re better than fine and you’ll get along fine. The best part of your life is you, the best friend is god and you’ve been burying yourself and god. God will never hurt you, it’s the wrong people you choose who do.

Life is beautiful, you are beautiful, it’s the outside world that is ugly. Just allow god in, then close the door, change the locks and bring the champagne out. I never feel sorry for who or what I’ve lost, I just feel sorry for the things and people who’ve lost me. Because I know the circle of life completes itself for the faithful. You’ll win in the end, but to win in the end, play your life with some more dignity, play it with grace, play it with gratitude and play it with the awesome love of god that is just waiting to be part of your life.

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