What a wonderful thing change can be and how much we resist it. Last week I met an old friend who had a few months ago given up his cushy job as an investment banker only to pursue his first love, teaching. He had to give up his well appointed Malabar Hill apartment, his club memberships, even his holidays abroad, but the peace and contentment on his face was worth seeing. He walked, lived likely finally he found his ground, his calling, his life. Of course there had been trepidation, would his daughter adjust to the change in lifestyle, school, miss the luxuries of life.
Did he deprive her of it, was he being selfish. Is giving up luxury for love foolish? Once the moment passes by those luxuries seem petty, those friends who didn’t hold on with your status change seem worthless.
If they didn’t support your calling they weren’t your friends. If you cease to be reason enough to your friends, you were definitely treading the wrong path. Change. How much we fear it. And how important it is for us to experience it. And any change, not only when good things happen to us, but also when the bad things occur.
Life is, as any enlightened sage will tell you, is a constant interplay of interconnected opposites, good and bad, happy and sad, kind and cruel. In what doses no one can say, but what s absolutely certain is that nothing lasts forever, and change is inevitable. We are all so adaptable that we will survive and learn the tricks of the new trade. After a while we will also enjoy the new trade. You will survive and then live. Its only a matter of time.
My friend who chucked his job as a banker now has time to read to his daughter, accompany his wife to the plays she longed to see hand in hand and read the book he always wanted. Its not all hunky dory, there are the inevitable lows as well. But he says for 24 years I hung on to my job as a banker and worked myself to sickness and death so frightened of losing it; or not reaching the top, or not performing to my bosses expectations. And then finally when I let go, the relief was so much. I confronted my worst fear and insecurity and found that I had still survived.
Change. See what you hold dear in your life, what you cling to, and hanker for. And be courageous and let go. Go with the flow, don’t surrender to life, be that unpredictable crazy river that decided her own course and is never scared to chase her dreams, her heart. Jump with out looking. And you will see that the safety net will always be there. It might not be the net you wanted. But something for someone will be there to break your fall, and hold you.
Change something. Anything. Remove just one thing, from your life, and see what life puts back in as a surprise.
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Showing posts with label philosophy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label philosophy. Show all posts
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Smile
A few lines that I wrote years ago which made sense then now and forever
To smile in victory is easy,
to show a brave face in defeat, difficult
How do I take defeat?
How do I accept a set back to my plans?
Can I control my feelings when i experience disappointment?
Can I start again with courage after a first or second failure?
Do I find excuses, sulk, be bitter, complain to everybody when things go wrong,
when I think I have beensnubbed, when a better man has been given the chance I anticipated?
Adversity and contradictions bring out strong characters and help strengthen them.
Criticism should be an eye opener as regards to shortcomings
Our self relaince and conceit, our vanity and pride collapse under the blows of failure as butter melts in the sun.
Lack of success makes us reconsider our plans, concentrate our energies and improve our methods.
Most discoveries are the result of repeated efforts in the face of opposition, of tenacious will power restartng hundreds of experiments, all ending in failure except the last.
We will not be judged by our successes but according to our endeavours.
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To smile in victory is easy,
to show a brave face in defeat, difficult
How do I take defeat?
How do I accept a set back to my plans?
Can I control my feelings when i experience disappointment?
Can I start again with courage after a first or second failure?
Do I find excuses, sulk, be bitter, complain to everybody when things go wrong,
when I think I have beensnubbed, when a better man has been given the chance I anticipated?
Adversity and contradictions bring out strong characters and help strengthen them.
Criticism should be an eye opener as regards to shortcomings
Our self relaince and conceit, our vanity and pride collapse under the blows of failure as butter melts in the sun.
Lack of success makes us reconsider our plans, concentrate our energies and improve our methods.
Most discoveries are the result of repeated efforts in the face of opposition, of tenacious will power restartng hundreds of experiments, all ending in failure except the last.
We will not be judged by our successes but according to our endeavours.
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Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Fool's Paradise
Hmmm! an expression used more often than not by fool's who live in this eternal hope that life will come to them. They wait for things to happen and wait till eternity for things to happen, things to be in equilibrium not knowing that life never reaches an equilibrium!!!
To have a balance in life or to achieve all that you want in life is only wishful thinking. It's a notional phase which is never true. We keep thinking let me achieve this and I will do this let me achieve this and I will start this... let this project get over let me get this promotion... let me enjoy this one last year... Alas! life doesn't stop and problems never cease to exist.
Only if man was such a content animal, there would be no problem. Only if we never stopped wishing would life be much better. Every time we climb a step up in the ladder of life we feel higher than some & lower than some. The lower than some always pinches us more and our lust for more out of life only increases.
A lot of people have this question in their minds at different stages in their life that recurr time & again...when is the right time to fall in love, the right time to start a job, right time to finish my education, right time for me to say yes to my girlfriend, right time for marriage, right time for children, right time to quit smoking, right time to strike a work life balance, right time to focus on health and start hitting the gym from tom, right time to look beyond me, right time to give sometime to your relationships...your priorities... there is this no right time... no right person. I know some people in this quest of the right time & right person have spent so many years alone, in misery waiting for things to happen, cupid to knock on their doors, careers wasted, skills unused... regrets left by... people left behind...stories untold, emotions unexpressed...only becuase it wasn't the right time. There will never be a perfect time a perfect person.
What makes you feel right today who makes you feel perfect today is the right time and right person in your life. Time & people keep changing so its obvious that, that perfect moment will also change. so what seems right now seems like a mistake tom, who seems like your soulmate today may seem your worst enemy tom.
Men fear marriage... committment babies... but its really that moment that you thought would never happen to you and you are not ready for it... my friend you will never be ready for it. It's not only men... we as people are never ready for changes... it's just women have higher anticipation skills and the excitement to do something new makes them accept it & make decisions much faster... Trust me it's a change for them as well.
We plan so much in our lives... dates, marriage, proposals, interviews, schedules, careers, babies, love, old age, death...
Only if life went according to plans there would be no fools in the paradise.
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To have a balance in life or to achieve all that you want in life is only wishful thinking. It's a notional phase which is never true. We keep thinking let me achieve this and I will do this let me achieve this and I will start this... let this project get over let me get this promotion... let me enjoy this one last year... Alas! life doesn't stop and problems never cease to exist.
Only if man was such a content animal, there would be no problem. Only if we never stopped wishing would life be much better. Every time we climb a step up in the ladder of life we feel higher than some & lower than some. The lower than some always pinches us more and our lust for more out of life only increases.
A lot of people have this question in their minds at different stages in their life that recurr time & again...when is the right time to fall in love, the right time to start a job, right time to finish my education, right time for me to say yes to my girlfriend, right time for marriage, right time for children, right time to quit smoking, right time to strike a work life balance, right time to focus on health and start hitting the gym from tom, right time to look beyond me, right time to give sometime to your relationships...your priorities... there is this no right time... no right person. I know some people in this quest of the right time & right person have spent so many years alone, in misery waiting for things to happen, cupid to knock on their doors, careers wasted, skills unused... regrets left by... people left behind...stories untold, emotions unexpressed...only becuase it wasn't the right time. There will never be a perfect time a perfect person.
What makes you feel right today who makes you feel perfect today is the right time and right person in your life. Time & people keep changing so its obvious that, that perfect moment will also change. so what seems right now seems like a mistake tom, who seems like your soulmate today may seem your worst enemy tom.
Men fear marriage... committment babies... but its really that moment that you thought would never happen to you and you are not ready for it... my friend you will never be ready for it. It's not only men... we as people are never ready for changes... it's just women have higher anticipation skills and the excitement to do something new makes them accept it & make decisions much faster... Trust me it's a change for them as well.
We plan so much in our lives... dates, marriage, proposals, interviews, schedules, careers, babies, love, old age, death...
Only if life went according to plans there would be no fools in the paradise.
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The road less traveled
A lot of changes in the last couple of months made me realize that all that it seems is not what it is.
I'm not stating the unobvious but its just that its a realization thats now confirmed. The way up the corporate ladder is quite dirty. Step up is always up and down in values. Someone once told me which I strongly now believe in, there will always be time when you will need to decide whether you want it or not? And at what price? The price is what you pay for your thoughts turn into values. The values that you set for yourself and never ever compromise on those.
I thought the change would be tough to let go and start again but to my surprise I held on to the roots for a long time moving along with the change. I didn't adjust to the mediocrity but infact only emerged stronger in valuing what I had and now confident of what i will not want from my future.
On my journey i realized how shallow people were. I could see through them to see that they pretended to be who they were not... how others sucked up to these people and thought they were only securing their future. People who had such low security levels and obviously hollow confidence levels. But I sailed through all this, I stood with my values didn't give into what I didn't believe was right and what i thought was against my integrity.
I realized how people would pay any price to ensure they secure their position and at any cost.
For me it was a path i decided not to tread and I know I will pay a price for it. I remember this poem by Robert Frost which has been with me forever, The Road not taken, and the excerpts read...
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
I'm not stating the unobvious but its just that its a realization thats now confirmed. The way up the corporate ladder is quite dirty. Step up is always up and down in values. Someone once told me which I strongly now believe in, there will always be time when you will need to decide whether you want it or not? And at what price? The price is what you pay for your thoughts turn into values. The values that you set for yourself and never ever compromise on those.
I thought the change would be tough to let go and start again but to my surprise I held on to the roots for a long time moving along with the change. I didn't adjust to the mediocrity but infact only emerged stronger in valuing what I had and now confident of what i will not want from my future.
On my journey i realized how shallow people were. I could see through them to see that they pretended to be who they were not... how others sucked up to these people and thought they were only securing their future. People who had such low security levels and obviously hollow confidence levels. But I sailed through all this, I stood with my values didn't give into what I didn't believe was right and what i thought was against my integrity.
I realized how people would pay any price to ensure they secure their position and at any cost.
For me it was a path i decided not to tread and I know I will pay a price for it. I remember this poem by Robert Frost which has been with me forever, The Road not taken, and the excerpts read...
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
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