Personal experiences are not always enough to observe… Look around and the world has enough to offer for you to learn everyday. Often we get so consumed by our own problems, life, relationships that we walk in bright daylight with our vision blindfolded.
We become oblivion to life.
More often than not we always have special occasions in our life that earmark our life. A few significant dates that turn our lives around, make them beautiful, exciting or even ugly.
This date may bring you fame, fortune, love, loneliness, togetherness, whatever it maybe, but it will add a new dimension to your life. It could be your first date, your 1st anniversary, 1st birthday celebration with your husband, 1st few years after marriage, your baby’s 1st birthday, 1st promotion, 1st car, 1st day at work…
We celebrate all the firsts with so much excitement and love that the experience is overwhelming.
As we move on in life the past ceases to exist and a few more dates become of significance. Some would say that’s natural progression of life where newer events become significant and some would say those dates which changed your life will always be memorable and need to be cherished.
Let not the newer priorities take precedence over those important dates, they shaped your life. Let the celebrations continue through life for those are dates that bought you closer to your loved ones.
Don’t take those dates for granted there will always be circumstances that will force you to let go of those moments. But don’t succumb to circumstances, don’t let situations precede relationships. They will always provide resistance but it’s the strength of the relationship that needs to battle the resistance.
If you let go of it once, it will be gone for life. The turning points in your life will cease to exist. Soon you will realize that you have no special moments and no special people. All that you gave to those firsts is too far away. In fact after years of togetherness the chocolates that you send taste sweeter, the red roses seem even fresher, those stuff toys seem even more cozy, that candle light dinner and that walk on the beach by the moonlight even more romantic. Your child’s every birthday will mark a year of growing and learning,for the both of you. Your siblings’ occasions will only reassure him of your care and support.
Don’t let those ‘DATES BECOME DAYS’ ….
Start now, celebrate every day that you have with your loved ones and especially those DATES that gave you happiness forever…
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Showing posts with label learning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label learning. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Never say Never
I always thought I was organized, set and controlled in life. I had complete control of life and I wouldn’t digress from all that was planned.
To be organized, to plan, to make pert charts was probably my biggest obsession. The smallest of task and my network sheets would crop up. I could never wait for life to happen to me. I knew I had to make life happen.
Confident, aggressive, ambitious, little proud & pompous, life couldn't be wrong with me…that was my belief, or probably most of us believe in that. Until the heights collapse, the walls narrow in, hopes sink, waves calm down and people seem scarce. the phrase.
“It can never happen to me” ceases to exist.
That’s the time god makes you believe in his existence and crushes that pride that made you into a ‘not so good’ human being. He will make you realize of his superiority, his powers and the castle of cards you thought was a steady shelter in your life.
When one stands atop the highest peak, things seem small and tiny, probably unimportant. The words in your conscience are “I will ‘never’ ever be down there.”
The road ahead seems dearer than the journey you left behind. We forget the golden rule in life;
“Rise and fall is a rule in life with no exceptions.”
Not everybody needs to walk downhill or tread the path he left behind but it’s just that, “NEVER” forget the lessons you absorbed on the way and be unaccepting to life. At any point in time remember you will need to embrace life with whatever it holds for you then
Sometimes you wish you had more control over situations that can just sweep you off your feet. When you feel that once I achieve this I progress a step further and will do this and once I achieve that I will work towards the other. That achievement that stability you wish to achieve and use as a base for next steps is a myth, a mirage that is never realized. As you move closer to what you call achievement sucks you in further more and you lose yourself to situations and circumstances.
Today you believe that I don’t want this or I can make this happen at my time, my pace or when I am ready for it. But my friend we don’t live in isolation. Our lives are so entwined with so many other people and forces that it takes, people, energy and forces to all unite at one time and make things happen. There is no either or!
It’s not procrastination but the belief or rather overconfidence that I and ‘me’ solely can make anything happen when I want it. I know a lot of people who spend years chasing bachelor hood and when the y seek companionship finally they fail to see anybody around. That carnival of people around suddenly seemed to elope. Then either it’s no companion or not a perfect companion.
I know friends of mine who tell me I will ‘never’ want to have babies, I don’t want babies yet, or its too early, or cant compromise ‘us’ for ‘it’ yet. They thought they could plan ‘life’. They craved, pleaded and begged to god to make it happen but it didn’t…
They believe that it will happen but, just the journey now seems so long.
I know some friends who believed that they were the best, life would walk to them, they looked down on people, laughed at their miseries, wondered how it would be to have a tough life. They were so happy reveling in the good life that it blinded them until god opened the blindfold and showed them life. Now those eyes are sensitive and can see through problems of all. Now those are eyes are happy to help and not judgmental
We all live in this eternal faith that “it will ‘never’ happen to me”. I will ‘never’ do this, I ‘never’ want this, I ‘never’ will have to put my hands forward. I ‘never’ will have to see downhill, life can ‘never’ be bad with me.
The battle is not with the time you need to get there, or the pace you want to progress at. Just be open and accepting of the fact that today you don’t want it, tomorrow you can’t or may not have it.
Life will happen at the pace you want it at, just delete the ‘never’ in your life coz life keeps changing and situations and circumstances make us do things we thought we’d thought we will ‘NEVER’ do.
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To be organized, to plan, to make pert charts was probably my biggest obsession. The smallest of task and my network sheets would crop up. I could never wait for life to happen to me. I knew I had to make life happen.
Confident, aggressive, ambitious, little proud & pompous, life couldn't be wrong with me…that was my belief, or probably most of us believe in that. Until the heights collapse, the walls narrow in, hopes sink, waves calm down and people seem scarce. the phrase.
“It can never happen to me” ceases to exist.
That’s the time god makes you believe in his existence and crushes that pride that made you into a ‘not so good’ human being. He will make you realize of his superiority, his powers and the castle of cards you thought was a steady shelter in your life.
When one stands atop the highest peak, things seem small and tiny, probably unimportant. The words in your conscience are “I will ‘never’ ever be down there.”
The road ahead seems dearer than the journey you left behind. We forget the golden rule in life;
“Rise and fall is a rule in life with no exceptions.”
Not everybody needs to walk downhill or tread the path he left behind but it’s just that, “NEVER” forget the lessons you absorbed on the way and be unaccepting to life. At any point in time remember you will need to embrace life with whatever it holds for you then
Sometimes you wish you had more control over situations that can just sweep you off your feet. When you feel that once I achieve this I progress a step further and will do this and once I achieve that I will work towards the other. That achievement that stability you wish to achieve and use as a base for next steps is a myth, a mirage that is never realized. As you move closer to what you call achievement sucks you in further more and you lose yourself to situations and circumstances.
Today you believe that I don’t want this or I can make this happen at my time, my pace or when I am ready for it. But my friend we don’t live in isolation. Our lives are so entwined with so many other people and forces that it takes, people, energy and forces to all unite at one time and make things happen. There is no either or!
It’s not procrastination but the belief or rather overconfidence that I and ‘me’ solely can make anything happen when I want it. I know a lot of people who spend years chasing bachelor hood and when the y seek companionship finally they fail to see anybody around. That carnival of people around suddenly seemed to elope. Then either it’s no companion or not a perfect companion.
I know friends of mine who tell me I will ‘never’ want to have babies, I don’t want babies yet, or its too early, or cant compromise ‘us’ for ‘it’ yet. They thought they could plan ‘life’. They craved, pleaded and begged to god to make it happen but it didn’t…
They believe that it will happen but, just the journey now seems so long.
I know some friends who believed that they were the best, life would walk to them, they looked down on people, laughed at their miseries, wondered how it would be to have a tough life. They were so happy reveling in the good life that it blinded them until god opened the blindfold and showed them life. Now those eyes are sensitive and can see through problems of all. Now those are eyes are happy to help and not judgmental
We all live in this eternal faith that “it will ‘never’ happen to me”. I will ‘never’ do this, I ‘never’ want this, I ‘never’ will have to put my hands forward. I ‘never’ will have to see downhill, life can ‘never’ be bad with me.
The battle is not with the time you need to get there, or the pace you want to progress at. Just be open and accepting of the fact that today you don’t want it, tomorrow you can’t or may not have it.
Life will happen at the pace you want it at, just delete the ‘never’ in your life coz life keeps changing and situations and circumstances make us do things we thought we’d thought we will ‘NEVER’ do.
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Sunday, October 19, 2008
Sea of Change
What a wonderful thing change can be and how much we resist it. Last week I met an old friend who had a few months ago given up his cushy job as an investment banker only to pursue his first love, teaching. He had to give up his well appointed Malabar Hill apartment, his club memberships, even his holidays abroad, but the peace and contentment on his face was worth seeing. He walked, lived likely finally he found his ground, his calling, his life. Of course there had been trepidation, would his daughter adjust to the change in lifestyle, school, miss the luxuries of life.
Did he deprive her of it, was he being selfish. Is giving up luxury for love foolish? Once the moment passes by those luxuries seem petty, those friends who didn’t hold on with your status change seem worthless.
If they didn’t support your calling they weren’t your friends. If you cease to be reason enough to your friends, you were definitely treading the wrong path. Change. How much we fear it. And how important it is for us to experience it. And any change, not only when good things happen to us, but also when the bad things occur.
Life is, as any enlightened sage will tell you, is a constant interplay of interconnected opposites, good and bad, happy and sad, kind and cruel. In what doses no one can say, but what s absolutely certain is that nothing lasts forever, and change is inevitable. We are all so adaptable that we will survive and learn the tricks of the new trade. After a while we will also enjoy the new trade. You will survive and then live. Its only a matter of time.
My friend who chucked his job as a banker now has time to read to his daughter, accompany his wife to the plays she longed to see hand in hand and read the book he always wanted. Its not all hunky dory, there are the inevitable lows as well. But he says for 24 years I hung on to my job as a banker and worked myself to sickness and death so frightened of losing it; or not reaching the top, or not performing to my bosses expectations. And then finally when I let go, the relief was so much. I confronted my worst fear and insecurity and found that I had still survived.
Change. See what you hold dear in your life, what you cling to, and hanker for. And be courageous and let go. Go with the flow, don’t surrender to life, be that unpredictable crazy river that decided her own course and is never scared to chase her dreams, her heart. Jump with out looking. And you will see that the safety net will always be there. It might not be the net you wanted. But something for someone will be there to break your fall, and hold you.
Change something. Anything. Remove just one thing, from your life, and see what life puts back in as a surprise.
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Did he deprive her of it, was he being selfish. Is giving up luxury for love foolish? Once the moment passes by those luxuries seem petty, those friends who didn’t hold on with your status change seem worthless.
If they didn’t support your calling they weren’t your friends. If you cease to be reason enough to your friends, you were definitely treading the wrong path. Change. How much we fear it. And how important it is for us to experience it. And any change, not only when good things happen to us, but also when the bad things occur.
Life is, as any enlightened sage will tell you, is a constant interplay of interconnected opposites, good and bad, happy and sad, kind and cruel. In what doses no one can say, but what s absolutely certain is that nothing lasts forever, and change is inevitable. We are all so adaptable that we will survive and learn the tricks of the new trade. After a while we will also enjoy the new trade. You will survive and then live. Its only a matter of time.
My friend who chucked his job as a banker now has time to read to his daughter, accompany his wife to the plays she longed to see hand in hand and read the book he always wanted. Its not all hunky dory, there are the inevitable lows as well. But he says for 24 years I hung on to my job as a banker and worked myself to sickness and death so frightened of losing it; or not reaching the top, or not performing to my bosses expectations. And then finally when I let go, the relief was so much. I confronted my worst fear and insecurity and found that I had still survived.
Change. See what you hold dear in your life, what you cling to, and hanker for. And be courageous and let go. Go with the flow, don’t surrender to life, be that unpredictable crazy river that decided her own course and is never scared to chase her dreams, her heart. Jump with out looking. And you will see that the safety net will always be there. It might not be the net you wanted. But something for someone will be there to break your fall, and hold you.
Change something. Anything. Remove just one thing, from your life, and see what life puts back in as a surprise.
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Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Tech Infidelity
Before you get judgemental and think I'm suffereing from it, take a step back and think aren't you? Technology has just made life so easy and everything and everybody so accessible for us. Until yesterday we yearned to be connected today we switch off our cell phones to be disconnected. Ya and these days its not one but 2 cell phones that you are dealing with. I know people who dread that one phone and are already struggling with the second one. Do we want to be connected all the time? Are we insecure if we are not connected? Probably yes, if I am not around someone else will do it... ya proabably someone else will... but thats the choice one makes that how much do you want to let go off? This connectivity syndrome is what is leading to more and more couples stretching themselves over time zones trying to accomodate all that they can, to ensure they are " Connected". Over a cup of chai and the daily tabloid i read these interesting celeb Q&A's where they ask you, things you won't leave your house without and most of them say my cell phone. Some say my Ipod, there has to be technology... Some questions go if you were marooned on an island who would you be with? And the answer goes my Ipod. The role that these techie things play in peoples lives is amazing.
People earlier struggled with people then came work and now its technology. Its amazing how we dont realize how gradually from a balanced life we gradually changed our preferences. Earlier one of the spouse was working and the other created the balance. Gradually our greed and the need ensured that both the partners work. So we sliced those 12 hours of togetherness further to 8 hours of togetherness. Then came technology where those 8 hours of togetherness are also sliced and has come down to probably 6. Earlier we dreaded that if we as a couple do not spend enough time together he/she might look outside the relationship and be involved with someone else, then came the extended working hours where people distinctly spent less time together and hence proximities at work started to rise. But now that's passe, today probably there is no time for the first two but i make time for the third.
Often wonder what is that lends people to tech infidelity, probably the need to be updated, cause today every interaction is an opportunity to cast an impression, the more abreast & updated you are the cooler you are perceived to be... Or is it the need to 'fit in' or technology gives me the space I need... ya the battle for space... or is just so informative & accessible that I want it... Ya may be it is. Today everything is a click away so all my acts are probably governed by what Googles top 10 search results are...Why do we wake up and want to see the news like the world collapsed while we were asleep, or we need our IPODS' on, while we are at our morning walk. Probably Google sends me more sms's than my husband does.
And ofcourse i cant forget the Blackberry...its like the world at your fingertips... a spy gaurd your bosses installed in you in the name of seniority and a must for managers. I check my blackberry when i wake up, while I'm brushing, while I'm in the loo... just when i finished my bath(how some people would wish it was water proof) while i'm driving... over lunch... during meetings... while fetching my children from school... while playing with them in the garden... over a family dinner... in the midlle of a dance... the list doesnt end.
Our lives are governed by ringtones and sms tones... ha ha ha ha... never thoght it would get here... So my friends its not another person who is eating into your spouses time... its that ringtone thats the intruder.
Technology is great... I love it but if you really love it learn from it...
Learn to switch on and off...
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People earlier struggled with people then came work and now its technology. Its amazing how we dont realize how gradually from a balanced life we gradually changed our preferences. Earlier one of the spouse was working and the other created the balance. Gradually our greed and the need ensured that both the partners work. So we sliced those 12 hours of togetherness further to 8 hours of togetherness. Then came technology where those 8 hours of togetherness are also sliced and has come down to probably 6. Earlier we dreaded that if we as a couple do not spend enough time together he/she might look outside the relationship and be involved with someone else, then came the extended working hours where people distinctly spent less time together and hence proximities at work started to rise. But now that's passe, today probably there is no time for the first two but i make time for the third.
Often wonder what is that lends people to tech infidelity, probably the need to be updated, cause today every interaction is an opportunity to cast an impression, the more abreast & updated you are the cooler you are perceived to be... Or is it the need to 'fit in' or technology gives me the space I need... ya the battle for space... or is just so informative & accessible that I want it... Ya may be it is. Today everything is a click away so all my acts are probably governed by what Googles top 10 search results are...Why do we wake up and want to see the news like the world collapsed while we were asleep, or we need our IPODS' on, while we are at our morning walk. Probably Google sends me more sms's than my husband does.
And ofcourse i cant forget the Blackberry...its like the world at your fingertips... a spy gaurd your bosses installed in you in the name of seniority and a must for managers. I check my blackberry when i wake up, while I'm brushing, while I'm in the loo... just when i finished my bath(how some people would wish it was water proof) while i'm driving... over lunch... during meetings... while fetching my children from school... while playing with them in the garden... over a family dinner... in the midlle of a dance... the list doesnt end.
Our lives are governed by ringtones and sms tones... ha ha ha ha... never thoght it would get here... So my friends its not another person who is eating into your spouses time... its that ringtone thats the intruder.
Technology is great... I love it but if you really love it learn from it...
Learn to switch on and off...
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Labels:
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