Mirror mirror on the wall

All that is beautiful is white. It’s not an Indian syndrome alone, so don’t view it like that. It’s not the belief of the past, the roots are strongly embedded that it has its relevance even today.

It’s not restricted to women alone it transcends to men as well. The first black president Barack Obama vs. former white first lady Hilary Clinton. Why did Michael Jackson change his colour then? Why from the black to a white.

It’s not restricted to humans alone it extends to animals as well. The white cat is the cute purr pussy while the black is evil & witchy. The white brown dog finds his place in your lap while the dark black dog at the gate. The grey pigeon is a victim of abundance while the white one is a sight to spot.

To think of it as a matter of past would be closing your eyes to it. Fair has its roots in the Hindu mythology with all the goddesses and lead protagonist all fair & lovely. Be it Radha, Sita, Parvati, Durga, Saraswati or the most worshipped Laxmi. Their imagery in our mind and the pictures and idols we grew up worshipping were all fair & pink.
Kali is probably the only goddess that i can think of who is dark but also is someone whom we are scared of. Why are we scared of her is because she is dark & kills the evil.

Simple things like a day & night, why are we always so scared of the dark. Why do the ghosts & evil spirits come out only in the dark?

The formative years of our life, our childhood, we grew up reading fairy tales of Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Beauty and the Beast. Fairy tales children’s best imagination was painted with fair is beautiful, black or dark is evil.
Barbie the biggest filament of male imagination and the first girl friend you want is fair, tall and beautiful.
As we grow up and get to know some more the comics that we read beginning from Archie, Veronica was always fair and sexy. Veronica was always the girlfriend and Betty always the friend. Fair always gets you to be the first fiddle.

Do you remember reading any Mills & Boons without the FPB syndrome? Were any of the men’s fantasies sans this syndrome? For those of you wondering what FPB is, it’s Fair, Petite and Beautiful

Venus Williams may be the better tennis player but Anna kournikova & Maria Sherapaova are still the pin up girls.

Films the biggest and truest reflection of our society is so true to this. Halle Berry is the ‘sexy siren’ while Julia Roberts is a fine beautiful actress. Hema Malini was ‘dream girl’ while Smitha Patil was a talented actress, she was never attributed to being beautiful.
Why is it that the fair girl gets to play the leading lady and the dark one only a supporting actress?

There are so many qualities & feelings associated with being fair:
“Colours come alive on the fair”
“Only if you are fair can you wear red”
“Being fair gives me the unfair advantage”
“Gives me the natural confidence to achieve”
“Beta kaisa bhi ho bahu to gori chitti hi chahiye”
“Fair is always right”
“Fair always attracts male admiration” – My Fair Lady
“Fairness opens a world of possibilities”
“Fairness is an attribute I can pass on to the next generation”
“The colour of your skin decides the colour of your clothes”
“Fairness the magnet of envy”
“If I had a wish I want to be fair”

It’s such a desirable attribute that it runs across strata’s of society “from the maid to the memsaab.”

While fair is still a boon the dark will catch up.

These insights are what beauty companies thrive on; there are activists who blame them for creating this discrimination. I would rather say they have just showcased an existing menace in a positive light; the bigger issue is which the society needs to address.

These are only a few instances, I’m sure when we walk through life everyday there must be so many more instances that reminisce us either of times where we felt good being fair or wish we were fair. It will also remind you that it’s not only the step mother in snow white who asks the mirror on the wall, “Mirror mirror on the wall who is the fairest of us all?”

Technorati Profile

Smile

A few lines that I wrote years ago which made sense then now and forever

To smile in victory is easy,
to show a brave face in defeat, difficult

How do I take defeat?
How do I accept a set back to my plans?
Can I control my feelings when i experience disappointment?
Can I start again with courage after a first or second failure?

Do I find excuses, sulk, be bitter, complain to everybody when things go wrong,
when I think I have beensnubbed, when a better man has been given the chance I anticipated?

Adversity and contradictions bring out strong characters and help strengthen them.
Criticism should be an eye opener as regards to shortcomings

Our self relaince and conceit, our vanity and pride collapse under the blows of failure as butter melts in the sun.
Lack of success makes us reconsider our plans, concentrate our energies and improve our methods.

Most discoveries are the result of repeated efforts in the face of opposition, of tenacious will power restartng hundreds of experiments, all ending in failure except the last.
We will not be judged by our successes but according to our endeavours.


Technorati Profile

Fool's Paradise

Hmmm! an expression used more often than not by fool's who live in this eternal hope that life will come to them. They wait for things to happen and wait till eternity for things to happen, things to be in equilibrium not knowing that life never reaches an equilibrium!!!
To have a balance in life or to achieve all that you want in life is only wishful thinking. It's a notional phase which is never true. We keep thinking let me achieve this and I will do this let me achieve this and I will start this... let this project get over let me get this promotion... let me enjoy this one last year... Alas! life doesn't stop and problems never cease to exist.

Only if man was such a content animal, there would be no problem. Only if we never stopped wishing would life be much better. Every time we climb a step up in the ladder of life we feel higher than some & lower than some. The lower than some always pinches us more and our lust for more out of life only increases.

A lot of people have this question in their minds at different stages in their life that recurr time & again...when is the right time to fall in love, the right time to start a job, right time to finish my education, right time for me to say yes to my girlfriend, right time for marriage, right time for children, right time to quit smoking, right time to strike a work life balance, right time to focus on health and start hitting the gym from tom, right time to look beyond me, right time to give sometime to your relationships...your priorities... there is this no right time... no right person. I know some people in this quest of the right time & right person have spent so many years alone, in misery waiting for things to happen, cupid to knock on their doors, careers wasted, skills unused... regrets left by... people left behind...stories untold, emotions unexpressed...only becuase it wasn't the right time. There will never be a perfect time a perfect person.

What makes you feel right today who makes you feel perfect today is the right time and right person in your life. Time & people keep changing so its obvious that, that perfect moment will also change. so what seems right now seems like a mistake tom, who seems like your soulmate today may seem your worst enemy tom.
Men fear marriage... committment babies... but its really that moment that you thought would never happen to you and you are not ready for it... my friend you will never be ready for it. It's not only men... we as people are never ready for changes... it's just women have higher anticipation skills and the excitement to do something new makes them accept it & make decisions much faster... Trust me it's a change for them as well.

We plan so much in our lives... dates, marriage, proposals, interviews, schedules, careers, babies, love, old age, death...

Only if life went according to plans there would be no fools in the paradise.


Technorati Profile

The road less traveled

A lot of changes in the last couple of months made me realize that all that it seems is not what it is.

I'm not stating the unobvious but its just that its a realization thats now confirmed. The way up the corporate ladder is quite dirty. Step up is always up and down in values. Someone once told me which I strongly now believe in, there will always be time when you will need to decide whether you want it or not? And at what price? The price is what you pay for your thoughts turn into values. The values that you set for yourself and never ever compromise on those.
I thought the change would be tough to let go and start again but to my surprise I held on to the roots for a long time moving along with the change. I didn't adjust to the mediocrity but infact only emerged stronger in valuing what I had and now confident of what i will not want from my future.

On my journey i realized how shallow people were. I could see through them to see that they pretended to be who they were not... how others sucked up to these people and thought they were only securing their future. People who had such low security levels and obviously hollow confidence levels. But I sailed through all this, I stood with my values didn't give into what I didn't believe was right and what i thought was against my integrity.

I realized how people would pay any price to ensure they secure their position and at any cost.

For me it was a path i decided not to tread and I know I will pay a price for it. I remember this poem by Robert Frost which has been with me forever, The Road not taken, and the excerpts read...
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Summer Capital of India

Ya I am talking about Shimla... My trips most of the time are quite random, unplanned, adventurous... unconventional...finding the quaintest spots on my own but this time don’t know why I wanted to be a tourist and be left to everything the place had to offer ... so just set off with my husband... We flew to Delhi like a corporate couple these days and then from Delhi to Kalka by train... it was a n over night journey but was so easy chilled out... I was really excited about the train journey its always made me remember of old days when an outing way snot complete without a train journey... the sound of the train... the swaying of the passengers, those vendors en route it just completes the feeling of a holiday sans the corporatization and service standards... I feel like an Indian chutti... reaching Kalka at 4 in the morning and one cool sardarji cabbie taking us to shimla... we fell asleep on our way up the hilly mountains... and reached shimla at 6 n the morning. We checked into one of the oldest hotels in shimla on mall road the Clarkes... so British...

while I was all set after breakfast to tread the slopes of shimla it reminded of all north Indian hill stations... one mall road with lots of shops and food stalls alongside... then it reaching a town hall where people gather weekend after weekend pretending to enjoy it like it offers something new every weekend??? One little post office... one tourism office which tells you all you can do on your holiday. One rooftop restaurant that serves authentic Indian cuisine and attracts all the newly married couples as a perfect photo spot.

I surrendered myself completely to observe people just while they found their happiness in shimla. Most honeymoon couples clicked their pictures in the local dresses and that was such a big attraction...
we decided to visit kufri as well and it was amazing to see cartels of horse owner with riders who were paid peanuts to trudge horses to lots of kms on a hilly stony path to see snow and come back... the site was quite beautiful but so much torture to humans and animals... but on way to kufri what amazed me was the influence of bollywood there were 6 yaks and they were named after bollywood celebs... like kajol & ajay... sagar & sweety, kareena and shahid... and the owners of these yaks screamed " arre kajol or ajay ke saath photo le lo" dus rupiya only, 10 Rs only sir" I did not wanna stand next to yak and take a picture but was amazed at human intelligence to generate revenue options...wow
We returned back from kufri and on our way back I filled my lungs with fresh mountain air and was happy to just surrender as a tourist and do all the things that are created by man against the backdrop of nature to create a revenue generating opportunity...

Tech Infidelity

Before you get judgemental and think I'm suffereing from it, take a step back and think aren't you? Technology has just made life so easy and everything and everybody so accessible for us. Until yesterday we yearned to be connected today we switch off our cell phones to be disconnected. Ya and these days its not one but 2 cell phones that you are dealing with. I know people who dread that one phone and are already struggling with the second one. Do we want to be connected all the time? Are we insecure if we are not connected? Probably yes, if I am not around someone else will do it... ya proabably someone else will... but thats the choice one makes that how much do you want to let go off? This connectivity syndrome is what is leading to more and more couples stretching themselves over time zones trying to accomodate all that they can, to ensure they are " Connected". Over a cup of chai and the daily tabloid i read these interesting celeb Q&A's where they ask you, things you won't leave your house without and most of them say my cell phone. Some say my Ipod, there has to be technology... Some questions go if you were marooned on an island who would you be with? And the answer goes my Ipod. The role that these techie things play in peoples lives is amazing.
People earlier struggled with people then came work and now its technology. Its amazing how we dont realize how gradually from a balanced life we gradually changed our preferences. Earlier one of the spouse was working and the other created the balance. Gradually our greed and the need ensured that both the partners work. So we sliced those 12 hours of togetherness further to 8 hours of togetherness. Then came technology where those 8 hours of togetherness are also sliced and has come down to probably 6. Earlier we dreaded that if we as a couple do not spend enough time together he/she might look outside the relationship and be involved with someone else, then came the extended working hours where people distinctly spent less time together and hence proximities at work started to rise. But now that's passe, today probably there is no time for the first two but i make time for the third.
Often wonder what is that lends people to tech infidelity, probably the need to be updated, cause today every interaction is an opportunity to cast an impression, the more abreast & updated you are the cooler you are perceived to be... Or is it the need to 'fit in' or technology gives me the space I need... ya the battle for space... or is just so informative & accessible that I want it... Ya may be it is. Today everything is a click away so all my acts are probably governed by what Googles top 10 search results are...Why do we wake up and want to see the news like the world collapsed while we were asleep, or we need our IPODS' on, while we are at our morning walk. Probably Google sends me more sms's than my husband does.
And ofcourse i cant forget the Blackberry...its like the world at your fingertips... a spy gaurd your bosses installed in you in the name of seniority and a must for managers. I check my blackberry when i wake up, while I'm brushing, while I'm in the loo... just when i finished my bath(how some people would wish it was water proof) while i'm driving... over lunch... during meetings... while fetching my children from school... while playing with them in the garden... over a family dinner... in the midlle of a dance... the list doesnt end.
Our lives are governed by ringtones and sms tones... ha ha ha ha... never thoght it would get here... So my friends its not another person who is eating into your spouses time... its that ringtone thats the intruder.
Technology is great... I love it but if you really love it learn from it...
Learn to switch on and off...


Technorati Profile

To, The Prime Minister…

ToThe Prime Minister…

This is just to say that I would not like to pay any more tax in a country where I do not get the benefits of the investments that we make. In a city that is always in news for the undying spirit that it exudes to all calamities and mishaps that it faces repeatedly.

As a citizen of this country I do not feel why things happen the way they do… I do not understand why illiterate people are part of the parliament, why politicians are richer than most intelligent & successful companies put together. Why a name that is nominated for the esteemed post of the president is a name that is not associated with any good doings or development or progress related issues but to scams & frauds.

Why no deadlines are met. Why can’t we follow a strictly corporate approach to this problem of being a backward country? We may aspire to be the most sought after nation that is so handicapped and crippled by the people who run it and abused by the people who enter and live in it.
As leaders of the company why can’t we look up to any of the politicians today and say that’s the person I want to be like? Why cant we meet the targets set. Why can’t be people be sacked for non performance. Why are our politicians not stressed about meeting their budgets/commitments? Why is that their children get free of cost funds/ loans from the costliest universities and a common man has to mortgage the ‘punji’ of his life to ensure basic education of his children?

Today ask any citizen of this country especially from Mumbai and ask him if the city of his dreams has eased any of his struggles. We pay the highest interest rates, highest tax rates, highest duties & charges, highest rental rates but what have we got in return.

There is just no ownership of the illiterate ministers who are hired in your cabinet. All the public expects from you is corruption, corruption and some more corruption. Simple facilities like public toilets cannot be used by a common man. They are used by the beggars and the neighbouring slum dwellers. When you land at the Indian airports to get a taxi, it takes half an hour. The taxi drivers fleece the customers asking them to pay them more as they have to wait for hours in the line and have to pay the cops to get into the line and get a fare. So at every stage it’s the common man who is paying for the corruption that you have induced into the system. There are fines & taxes for the common man but not for the politicians & cops who eat maximum paan and spit on the road or sometimes even pee on the road, who do not pay any tax but eat into the taxes & project fees. We can illustrate more examples that you could possibly read Mr Prime Minister!!!

There is a certain amount of elasticity that anything can support after which it will break. We refuse to stretch any further until are questions are answered and accountability is generated. If you think you guys are incapable then please let us know we would be more than willing to join politics and let people have the right they deserve.

Hope you have answers to the questions of 1.3 bn Indians!!!


Technorati Profile