As an expectant mother I was enjoying every moment of my pregnancy waiting for an angel to brighten my beautiful life further. My husband and I prayed for a little princess to come into our lives and fill our lives with colour, fun and happiness.
But in this beautiful journey of parenthood we soon realized that even in this current age, a lot of people, be it the villages, cities or the western world still wish for a boy.
I remember my Godh bharai ceremony (baby shower) when all my relatives and friends came over to wish me and the baby lots of health & happiness. They all secretly told me “I wish you a boy” and I wondered why? Just wish me a healthy baby that’s all I ask of you.
Through all my sonograms my husband and I were inquisitive for sure to know whether it is a boy or a girl but always scared to ask the doctor. Actually it wasn’t so much of being scared but actually killing the suspense at the time of delivery.
The speculation while you are pregnant, the baby shower games, the Chinese calendar its all fun and let it be that way. The suspense will actually keep you going till the last month. It’s fun to know what everybody is betting on!
To be honest until the 32nd week I really was biased and wanted a girl but after that week I just wanted a normal healthy baby! The sex just didn’t make any difference to me any more. I was nervous…
I still remember the delivery table and the final push when I was exhausted and with a shaking voice I asked my doctor is it a girl? And he said yes and I screamed with joy! And couldn’t stop telling myself WOW! it’s a girl, it’s a girl as I held my nervous first time father, husbands hand.
I truly thought at that moment that ya, maybe god does give you what you ask for!
Soon after I delivered a lot many people came by and consoled me don’t worry you can try again and it may be the next time around it would be a boy or would subtly put it good now with a boy the next time it will be a complete family.
As days went by and I strolled in the garden with my daughter in the pram, a neighbour came by and told me to try having my next baby after prescribed medication from a gynaec who can guarantee a son. Didn’t know you have guarantees for this as well! I just fail to understand if natures chosen something for you let it give you that don’t go against it.
I just heard all of it and wondered wow, we may want to believe that the world has changed but its not! And trust me it’s not an India phenomenon only. The western world also is partial to blue and the East, cannot comment on it at all cause the lives that the women are made to lead there, even I would wish anybody a boy. Cannot have any more women subjected to slavery any more.
So the world over, It’s blue all the way…
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Friday, December 11, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
My Best Friend
While the evenings get darker early in the so called winter(Bombay only gets fewer hours of light but where's the winter:() and as I sit back in the cab to get home unable to read, I realized how important is the 'phone' in our lives.
While I was busy catching with friends, work, parents, emails and obviously face book, all the moments that my phone had rescued me and given me company just quickly flew by my eyes. Either a boring party that I was attending alone where I finished meeting most people or was in between meeting 2 people or when you are early for a meeting.
At the parlour its the best time actually, or while traveling. The phone seems to come handy all the time. Its become less of a tool of communication and more of a companion. Its something that most people can't leave their homes without. You know all those celeb columns of what's in your bag or cant leave home without, the phone always makes it there!
Your best friend knows your calendar your notes your most intimate conversations. Almost a confidant. You also kind of love her and her appearance is of utmost importance to you. That's why you get the most fancy and expensive one then dress her up with a case or a few tassels.
It's also a cause for fights between a lot of couples today as the girl chats away and the guy possibly cant stop messing with it. Or those late nights when you suddenly wake up and cant put yourself back to sleep and unconsciously start checking your emails or start playing brick breaker or tetris.
Think about it when you forget something at home your lunch, a book, a file or your phone you get most restless when...
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While I was busy catching with friends, work, parents, emails and obviously face book, all the moments that my phone had rescued me and given me company just quickly flew by my eyes. Either a boring party that I was attending alone where I finished meeting most people or was in between meeting 2 people or when you are early for a meeting.
At the parlour its the best time actually, or while traveling. The phone seems to come handy all the time. Its become less of a tool of communication and more of a companion. Its something that most people can't leave their homes without. You know all those celeb columns of what's in your bag or cant leave home without, the phone always makes it there!
Your best friend knows your calendar your notes your most intimate conversations. Almost a confidant. You also kind of love her and her appearance is of utmost importance to you. That's why you get the most fancy and expensive one then dress her up with a case or a few tassels.
It's also a cause for fights between a lot of couples today as the girl chats away and the guy possibly cant stop messing with it. Or those late nights when you suddenly wake up and cant put yourself back to sleep and unconsciously start checking your emails or start playing brick breaker or tetris.
Think about it when you forget something at home your lunch, a book, a file or your phone you get most restless when...
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Thursday, November 5, 2009
Young and Restless
It was a lazy Saturday evening with friends and some freshly brewed coffee. It was after a long time that all of us decided to do nothing and to just catch up on life. As the evening progressed and our conversations moved from the regular humour and banter to sharing dreams and ambitions I realized how the quest to rise and rise fast is the only thing on the minds of the youth today.
I will admit that I am a part of this clan. Our need to accomplish and accomplish at a younger age is taking over a lot of 'me' time or 'family' time. As we discussed our goals and lives 5 years down the line, there were comments like "boss jaldi paisa kamana hai, par kaise?"(I want to make some quick money but how?) "I don't mind doing anything dude but its gotta be quick". Our parents had the time we don't ya, where's the time? Our parents went for their first foreign holiday at 50; we want to do it at 20 and our kids at 2. That's the pace and we all need to keep up.
As the discussion moved on we came to discussing babies and how it’s so expensive to raise them and so time consuming and restricting to careers, personal accomplishment, relationships, travel that it’s best to restrict it to one. My mind drifted away to the conversation I had a few weeks ago with my mom and remembered her words, “you’ll think so much about yourselves vs. us who thought about our kids all the time.” She is often amazed at how every activity in our lives is so planned and calculated including having kids. She often tells me “don’t think so much, har baccha ya insaan apna naseeb leke aata hai.”(Each child/person will come with his fate, so don’t think so much). Sub consciously I thought my god it would be such a riot if my mom was part of this discussion.
We then moved onto social skills and how it’s so important to network to climb that ladder fast. All the boys defended themselves saying that's why they keep doing their boys night out. (We believe them). I agree that today your social skills and ability to network that can get you going and going great places. The result is obviously evident with the amount of time we spend on these social networking sites.
It was almost dawn as we discussed our lives, we all agreed with some and disagreed with some. I listened to all my friends intently, soul searching and trying to identify traits that drive all of us today keeping us so young and restless
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I will admit that I am a part of this clan. Our need to accomplish and accomplish at a younger age is taking over a lot of 'me' time or 'family' time. As we discussed our goals and lives 5 years down the line, there were comments like "boss jaldi paisa kamana hai, par kaise?"(I want to make some quick money but how?) "I don't mind doing anything dude but its gotta be quick". Our parents had the time we don't ya, where's the time? Our parents went for their first foreign holiday at 50; we want to do it at 20 and our kids at 2. That's the pace and we all need to keep up.
As the discussion moved on we came to discussing babies and how it’s so expensive to raise them and so time consuming and restricting to careers, personal accomplishment, relationships, travel that it’s best to restrict it to one. My mind drifted away to the conversation I had a few weeks ago with my mom and remembered her words, “you’ll think so much about yourselves vs. us who thought about our kids all the time.” She is often amazed at how every activity in our lives is so planned and calculated including having kids. She often tells me “don’t think so much, har baccha ya insaan apna naseeb leke aata hai.”(Each child/person will come with his fate, so don’t think so much). Sub consciously I thought my god it would be such a riot if my mom was part of this discussion.
We then moved onto social skills and how it’s so important to network to climb that ladder fast. All the boys defended themselves saying that's why they keep doing their boys night out. (We believe them). I agree that today your social skills and ability to network that can get you going and going great places. The result is obviously evident with the amount of time we spend on these social networking sites.
It was almost dawn as we discussed our lives, we all agreed with some and disagreed with some. I listened to all my friends intently, soul searching and trying to identify traits that drive all of us today keeping us so young and restless
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Saturday, October 10, 2009
The Other Side
This one is for all those who think that the grass may be greener on the other side, who want to know what could be in store for them.
Yes its difficult to take decisions sometimes, actually at most times and especially the ones that are not warranted by most of your loved ones. We often get caught up between doing what's essential from a practical point of view and what you always wanted to do.
A close friend of mine decided to quit her well paying job in an MNC company to set up her own house and wait until she found her calling. Most friends did not agree with her decision as they could not do it and wondered why would someone want to leave her job in these recessionary times. Today with just one month through her sabbatical she has discovered so many facets about herself that were unknown to her. She took classes at the Culinary Institute of America, went exercising everyday, took dance classes, spent time with her siblings and is sure that the entrepreneur in her is ready to take on the world.
Another friend of mine who just moved home after marriage to another country wrote this great article for the Wall Street Journal http://online.wsj.com/article/SB125480175834966795.html which again reaffirms my faith that any decision in life is not worth regretting.
More often than not we weigh our decisions with the impact it will have on the lives of those we love, but be selfish sometimes. The other side could be good for the both of you. Don't fear failure because you were at least courageous enough to try. There are so many people who at 60 realise that this is not what they ever wanted to do.
Answer your calling, take the decision that is only yours, don't seek affirmation always. Leave that cushiony job that does not excite you every minute of every day. Even if your calling is to do nothing but be the best homemaker or the best mother to your child, go ahead and do it. Your loved ones will be happy only if you are happy.
The other side may not be green always but at least you were one of the few ones who crossed over.
PS: To the loved ones: Le them at least try!!!
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Yes its difficult to take decisions sometimes, actually at most times and especially the ones that are not warranted by most of your loved ones. We often get caught up between doing what's essential from a practical point of view and what you always wanted to do.
A close friend of mine decided to quit her well paying job in an MNC company to set up her own house and wait until she found her calling. Most friends did not agree with her decision as they could not do it and wondered why would someone want to leave her job in these recessionary times. Today with just one month through her sabbatical she has discovered so many facets about herself that were unknown to her. She took classes at the Culinary Institute of America, went exercising everyday, took dance classes, spent time with her siblings and is sure that the entrepreneur in her is ready to take on the world.
Another friend of mine who just moved home after marriage to another country wrote this great article for the Wall Street Journal http://online.wsj.com/article/SB125480175834966795.html which again reaffirms my faith that any decision in life is not worth regretting.
More often than not we weigh our decisions with the impact it will have on the lives of those we love, but be selfish sometimes. The other side could be good for the both of you. Don't fear failure because you were at least courageous enough to try. There are so many people who at 60 realise that this is not what they ever wanted to do.
Answer your calling, take the decision that is only yours, don't seek affirmation always. Leave that cushiony job that does not excite you every minute of every day. Even if your calling is to do nothing but be the best homemaker or the best mother to your child, go ahead and do it. Your loved ones will be happy only if you are happy.
The other side may not be green always but at least you were one of the few ones who crossed over.
PS: To the loved ones: Le them at least try!!!
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Friday, July 24, 2009
GIFE
Wondering what is GIFE. It’s an element of our lives now and impossible to survive without. We turn to it for the smallest issue to the largest ones. It shares with us the experiences of others and the true meaning of all things tangible or otherwise.
GIFE is Google Life.
GIFE was a word that I coined when I realized the importance of Google in our lives. I realized how for all problems, Google is the easiest and simplest solution and obviously its FREE.
It’s a free consultation that you get to all concerns in life. It can be organizing your life with Google calendar, sync, alerts, reminder, it could be your child’s history project, family issues, property issues, restaurants, movies, entertainment, travel, work related to any industry.
I can’t think of one person who does not use Google or is not dependant on Google. The beauty of the whole dam company is that they understand their user so well that they have created a whole basket of Google products which simplifies life as much as it gets.
Google Chrome, picassa, blogspot, orkut, reader, talk, alerts, books, calendar, sync, news, images, maps, documents, you tube. The list is endless. They practically address every need that we possibly have.
I wonder sometimes that how would life be without Google? It’s literally for the people by the people and of the people. Language no bar, caste no bar, country no bar, operating system no bar, competition no bar at all.
I am amazed at the speed and innovation with which this organization works. If we just adopt their principles in real life what would it be like?
1. Simplicity
2. Futuristic
3. People important to you should be the epicenter of your life. Incase of Google it’s the end user
4. Adaptability
5. Change & innovation
6. Value relationships. If you value this then you will have the person you have for life
7. Service: There is no substitute to this one. Invest in your relationships
8. Great product: If you get this right you need not look any further.
We would have probably stagnated without the search results. So many questions would stay unanswered, isn’t it? How would it be without GIFE…Google the answer to our life
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GIFE is Google Life.
GIFE was a word that I coined when I realized the importance of Google in our lives. I realized how for all problems, Google is the easiest and simplest solution and obviously its FREE.
It’s a free consultation that you get to all concerns in life. It can be organizing your life with Google calendar, sync, alerts, reminder, it could be your child’s history project, family issues, property issues, restaurants, movies, entertainment, travel, work related to any industry.
I can’t think of one person who does not use Google or is not dependant on Google. The beauty of the whole dam company is that they understand their user so well that they have created a whole basket of Google products which simplifies life as much as it gets.
Google Chrome, picassa, blogspot, orkut, reader, talk, alerts, books, calendar, sync, news, images, maps, documents, you tube. The list is endless. They practically address every need that we possibly have.
I wonder sometimes that how would life be without Google? It’s literally for the people by the people and of the people. Language no bar, caste no bar, country no bar, operating system no bar, competition no bar at all.
I am amazed at the speed and innovation with which this organization works. If we just adopt their principles in real life what would it be like?
1. Simplicity
2. Futuristic
3. People important to you should be the epicenter of your life. Incase of Google it’s the end user
4. Adaptability
5. Change & innovation
6. Value relationships. If you value this then you will have the person you have for life
7. Service: There is no substitute to this one. Invest in your relationships
8. Great product: If you get this right you need not look any further.
We would have probably stagnated without the search results. So many questions would stay unanswered, isn’t it? How would it be without GIFE…Google the answer to our life
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Friday, July 10, 2009
Weekends
Running through my personal job list this morning just realized that this weekend again will be really busy.
Yeah, the job list is really critical; our personal and professional lives just centres around this one piece of paper with many scribbles that determines our productivity at the end of the day.
Earlier it was only a Sunday but now it’s progressed to a Sat & Sun. There is so much of catching up to do over the weekend that it’s become a working day for all your personal chores. That’s why more often than not a lot of people have their status on Facebook on Fri as “TGIF”
Paying the bills, figuring out finances, entertainment, exercise, family time, it’s all packed in those 2 days. We pacify ourselves by believing that things even though they may be priority all could be fitted in those 2 days and its fine.
When I head to work every day I feel sad leaving my 1 year old daughter at home but all I do is just reason with myself thinking its Wednesday just 3 more days to go and the weekend I will be with her. Teaching her, trying new food, playing with her, taking her to the garden, or for a swim is all planned for the weekend. Not like she doesn't need it over the weekday but its leisure of time that ensures I push it for the weekend.
Even if it is having an important conversation with my husband that might take a wee bit longer is scheduled for the weekend. Meeting parents who always yearn to see their daughter and grand daughter is also scheduled over the weekend. Groceries, cooking, cleaning, repairs, the list is endless… all over the weekend. More often than not we just push so many things for the weekend forgetting that may be important for the person, or for that relatonship. The dearth of time I guess has made us so self centered.
The way we dress, what we do, our personalities, food, everything is at two extremes. The weekend means its about junk food, eating out, drinking, late nights and relaxed dressing.
We've literally split our lives into two with weekdays and weekends. Over the week we push ourselves to just accomplish so much that we exhaust all of our selves and try to regain and recouperate over the weekend. But life doesn't compartmentalize itself like that. It is the same every day and there is so much to love, enjoy, work learn and grow over the week as much over the weekend. Think about it, haven’t you already started planning your weekend again?
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Yeah, the job list is really critical; our personal and professional lives just centres around this one piece of paper with many scribbles that determines our productivity at the end of the day.
Earlier it was only a Sunday but now it’s progressed to a Sat & Sun. There is so much of catching up to do over the weekend that it’s become a working day for all your personal chores. That’s why more often than not a lot of people have their status on Facebook on Fri as “TGIF”
Paying the bills, figuring out finances, entertainment, exercise, family time, it’s all packed in those 2 days. We pacify ourselves by believing that things even though they may be priority all could be fitted in those 2 days and its fine.
When I head to work every day I feel sad leaving my 1 year old daughter at home but all I do is just reason with myself thinking its Wednesday just 3 more days to go and the weekend I will be with her. Teaching her, trying new food, playing with her, taking her to the garden, or for a swim is all planned for the weekend. Not like she doesn't need it over the weekday but its leisure of time that ensures I push it for the weekend.
Even if it is having an important conversation with my husband that might take a wee bit longer is scheduled for the weekend. Meeting parents who always yearn to see their daughter and grand daughter is also scheduled over the weekend. Groceries, cooking, cleaning, repairs, the list is endless… all over the weekend. More often than not we just push so many things for the weekend forgetting that may be important for the person, or for that relatonship. The dearth of time I guess has made us so self centered.
The way we dress, what we do, our personalities, food, everything is at two extremes. The weekend means its about junk food, eating out, drinking, late nights and relaxed dressing.
We've literally split our lives into two with weekdays and weekends. Over the week we push ourselves to just accomplish so much that we exhaust all of our selves and try to regain and recouperate over the weekend. But life doesn't compartmentalize itself like that. It is the same every day and there is so much to love, enjoy, work learn and grow over the week as much over the weekend. Think about it, haven’t you already started planning your weekend again?
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Now
As i drive by Marine Drive in Mumbai and enjoy people wet themselves in the lashing waves and heavy rain I cherish the small joys of life which we often miss out in our race to life.
"Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go round? Or listened to the rain slapping on the ground? You better slow down, don't dance so fast. Time is short, the music won't last.
Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask after your loved ones, do you hear their reply? When the day is done, do you lie unhappy in your bed with the next day's chores running through your head?
Ever told your most precious person we'll meet tomorrow and in your haste not seen his or her sorrow? Ever lost touch, let a great friendship die because you didn't have the words or the time or the forgiveness to call and say `hi'?
When you run so fast to get somewhere You miss half the fun of getting there. Life is then an unopened gift... thrown away. Life is no race, do take it slower Hear the music before your song is over" And the boy you have been reading for years desperately wants to add:
Try and really live your Life Sad, mad, unglad never mind; it's yours at least! So enough of strife what joy is enlisted against your name you can't even imagine the same. Heartfelt believes your deepest dream, it upholds your deepest hope if you believe me today, you will see for yourself someday that what you want is nothing compared to what you are destined to have in someway.
Dont let go off people for all things material. That job will not last tommorow but your family will stand by you when its gone.
live those little dreams dont wait for tommorow.
Make life happen today
"Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go round? Or listened to the rain slapping on the ground? You better slow down, don't dance so fast. Time is short, the music won't last.
Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask after your loved ones, do you hear their reply? When the day is done, do you lie unhappy in your bed with the next day's chores running through your head?
Ever told your most precious person we'll meet tomorrow and in your haste not seen his or her sorrow? Ever lost touch, let a great friendship die because you didn't have the words or the time or the forgiveness to call and say `hi'?
When you run so fast to get somewhere You miss half the fun of getting there. Life is then an unopened gift... thrown away. Life is no race, do take it slower Hear the music before your song is over" And the boy you have been reading for years desperately wants to add:
Try and really live your Life Sad, mad, unglad never mind; it's yours at least! So enough of strife what joy is enlisted against your name you can't even imagine the same. Heartfelt believes your deepest dream, it upholds your deepest hope if you believe me today, you will see for yourself someday that what you want is nothing compared to what you are destined to have in someway.
Dont let go off people for all things material. That job will not last tommorow but your family will stand by you when its gone.
live those little dreams dont wait for tommorow.
Make life happen today
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