Confessions of a Blackberry addict

I have a confession: I love my BlackBerry.

It’s my window to the world at any point in time. It entertains me when no one familiar is around. It’s the answer to all the queries I can think of. It’s the best communication channel among my friends.

I like checking my work email at home at all hours. Cant think of a day when I didn’t check all the emails on my phone, important or not.
I like reading about what's happening at work when I'm supposed to be decompressing on vacation. It’s important to be part of the communication group even if it is not addressed to me; it makes me feel remembered and important.
It comforts me somehow. I know what's happening. I'm not missing something important, delaying my response to something crucial, or walking back into the office unaware of a brewing crisis.

Now if I'm being honest, almost never IS there a brewing crisis — certainly not one that I can't deal with swiftly when I sit down at my desk first thing in the morning. But somehow it doesn't matter, I like intrusion of privacy and then complaining about never being off work or being a workaholic.
I've woven my personal and professional lives together in my patterns and habits, and I'm OK with that.

OK, more than OK with it. It partly defines how I think about my life. When I was on maternity leave, colleagues would chastise me for constantly being on email — as if I was so stressed by work that I couldn't stop checking in. What they didn't realize was that checking in to work during that time was essential for my mental well being! Work is stimulating.

Even now, sometimes when I can't sleep, I get up and check email at odd hours of the night. It's not because of stress, it's because it helps my mind focus on something other than what woke me up. Now I'm not sure I should admit any of this to my husband cause I accuse him of being an addict. And I don't relish being in touch when technology limitations make it difficult to do so. Or when I am truly, deeply in a family moment and I don't want to think about work. But in reality, most of the time, I want to stay in touch — it's interesting.

So I confess, I have blurred the lines between work and home and I've done it on purpose. One feeds and stimulates the other. How about you? Are those lines sacred or do you, like me, secretly like being at home and at work at the same time?

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The Winning Horse!

This is an experience that I’m sure all of us have been through at some point in our lives. Be it at work, home or in any relationship. The love, attention, affection is always on the one who brings the trophy home. While you are good you bask in the glory of success and when you can’t win no more you stand in the last row to be pictured.
Here’s what I mean. Look at actors, while they are young and have lots of hits and scandals, they are oh so hot, when they prioritize family over career they often need to make a strong comeback to make their presence felt.

Parents who have 2 children will always be more bent towards the child who draws attention either for his mischief, his looks, studies, sports, all in all fame.
Think of the preferred daughter in law at home… the preferred one always calls the shots.

At work, this is a classic… you know there is someone who gets his way through anything that he says, gets less work more money, is always the one in the consideration set all the time. Relax its life it happens. It’s the rule of life. Envy will not get you results. I know its easier said than done but try just let go the minute the thought even occurs especially all you girls just think of something else immediately and divert your attention.

The rule is more risk more money, whoever gets the moolah in hogs the limelight and all rules are amended for him. When things go wrong as they sometimes will the winning horse may get pardoned a couple of times but after that he will be the first one to face the axe as well

So all you winning horses don’t let the fame get to your head, love the good times and always be prepared for the bad. Like Krishna said work hard unconditionally and results will follow. Trust me you will be a winning horse one day and enjoy all the glitterati of the winning horse.


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Building the nest!

It was a regular Wednesday morning while I was feeding my baby her breakfast by the window sill showing her trees, flowers, cycles, dogs and birds. The birds were fluttering enjoying the weather and loved the winter sun. A constant chirp caught my ears and as I tried tracing that sound I saw a little sparrow build her nest on a tree near my house. I observed her intently and saw how she found fine pieces of straw, grass, wires and build a warm cozy nest for her little babies to arrive. She didn’t know if it was the best nest, how long will it take, is it better than the others, she just kept building to ensure it is safe for her babies.

I looked at my little baby and kissed her as I saw how life is a journey and you keep accumulating so many things on the way. You start with probably nothing and gradually en route you pick up values, culture, friends, siblings, education, knowledge, lovers, soul mates, life partners, enemies, cars, house, gadgets, experiences…

There are times when all that you’ve collected on your way is all lost and you need to start all over again and you’ve lost all energy and enthusiasm, all things material but you still have the education, knowledge, friends, parents, siblings, love and experience. Nobody can ever take that away from you and that’s all that you need to get all that you’ve lost back. So bounce back and you will see that slowly and gradually the hard work and patience will pay off and all that you wanted will be yours of course the struggle is also yours.

Also the person who has lost it all and starts again is fearless and is never scared of trying or innovating as he has now fear to lose or fall. He will succeed a lot more that he was earlier as he now does what he always wanted to do and his way. He also values things a lot more and will therefore always think more rationally and sensibly than earlier.
So build your nest today with all things necessary and don’t lose patience in your journey to get those little pieces together. It’s only a matter of time.

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3 Idiots unearthed

On a lazy Xmas afternoon there couldn't have been a more sensible decision than watching the most awaited bolly flick of the year with 4 stars. Though not an Aamir fan I know that his movies make sense, they have a soul and understated style and screenplay that instantly strikes a chord and makes you love the movie.
As we rushed to the theatre and settled with a tub of popcorn and chai ready to watch a movie in the theatres after ages, have to admit I loved it, 3 hours of exclusive me time... Woo hoo!

Ok getting back, so the movie started and the audience in the theatre getting into giggles already and those faint giggles grew to loud continuous laughter. The humour was excellent with great timing and the message so simple but strong. As the movie progressed it took me through various roles of my lives as a child, teenager in college, as a girlfriend, as a friend as a wife and finally a mother. It was like a deja vous to see each role so beautifully essayed just flash in front of my eyes and making me relive those moments and help me grow in those roles.

I wouldn’t share the movie details with you as you definitely have to watch it, but will definitely say don’t leave behind the learning’s that you get from it. That simple message of application & practical education is what we need to implement and not be a victim of peer pressure. For all those parents & teachers let our kids be they will learn at their own pace and follow their heart. Push them to achieve what they want to and not what you want to. Its ok, to fall learn, and change the path you set out on. Parents, be the guiding light in your child’s life. Let them explore and learn and don’t teach them everything. The experience when they learn on their own is far more enriching and will prepare them for all the times when you will not be around.
And nothing can be more convincing than 3 idiots giving you such an important and simple message that its ok to be happy than successful and do what you always want to and not what others want you to be. Stop pushing your children to be what you always wanted to be.


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The NEW of the OLD

As I was changing radio stations on my new ipod player on my way to work, I stumbled on a station that was luckily playing a few old songs and I was happy and elated to finally hear those favorites all over again. I saw myself humming along those songs in no time and going to work on a Monday morning didn’t seem so boring after all. While I enjoyed those songs everything seem to suddenly look so beautiful, the Bombay weather seemed a little chilly finally, people around look happier, I felt happier and therefore more confident. Like a few good old memories had just changed my complete perspective. It suddenly dawned on me that this always happens to me when ever I stumble upon things I leave behind. Lets start from those old clothes that were your favourite and always made you look good, when you clean your cupboard they always bring a smile on your face cause they make you feel good, ah! I was so thin once upon a time. Those school pictures, the ones where the class was suppose to take pictures together standing in height order and people would fight who would sit next to the class teacher. That old car which was really so embarrassing but so much of sentimental value for your dad, you just couldn’t understand why he couldn’t part with it and get you a new one!

Those old saris which your mom wore for her wedding and our all coming back into fashion, you gleam with happiness and your mom is so happy thinking you like her choice and she was fashionable when she was young. The old jewelry which your mom leaves behind trust me don’t think you will find those antique pieces ever. Those old friends whom you bump into at the school reunion or on facebook, that expression of seeing those school mates as wives, mothers and mother in laws is priceless! Those old days which you spent in the school canteen, those days when you were punished outside the class, the madness of staying awake and studying, or the photocopying of notes just before the exam, fighting for the bathroom in the hostel, stealing ‘ghar ka khana’ from some hostel mate, having no pocket money by the 15th of the month and taking ‘udhar’(loan) all seem to go by bringing a smile on your face. Those moments never come back but they are saved in the best moments of your life in the archives of your memory.
We get so engrossed with all that is present and new that we forget all that was important back then and what we are actually made of. New relationships, new friends, new house, new work place that the old seems to suddenly catch dust and the new shines brighter than before just like mastercard reunion ad, one of my favourites along with the famous song "purani jeans aur gitar....'
Clean the dust and visit those old letters, those dried flowers which you saved between your old books, those jeans which you once fitted into, those friends who were the foundation of your growing up years. Don’t lose touch with who you were and trust me you will find the ‘New in the OLD’ and will be happier than ever before.

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It’s blue all the way

As an expectant mother I was enjoying every moment of my pregnancy waiting for an angel to brighten my beautiful life further. My husband and I prayed for a little princess to come into our lives and fill our lives with colour, fun and happiness.

But in this beautiful journey of parenthood we soon realized that even in this current age, a lot of people, be it the villages, cities or the western world still wish for a boy.

I remember my Godh bharai ceremony (baby shower) when all my relatives and friends came over to wish me and the baby lots of health & happiness. They all secretly told me “I wish you a boy” and I wondered why? Just wish me a healthy baby that’s all I ask of you.

Through all my sonograms my husband and I were inquisitive for sure to know whether it is a boy or a girl but always scared to ask the doctor. Actually it wasn’t so much of being scared but actually killing the suspense at the time of delivery.

The speculation while you are pregnant, the baby shower games, the Chinese calendar its all fun and let it be that way. The suspense will actually keep you going till the last month. It’s fun to know what everybody is betting on!

To be honest until the 32nd week I really was biased and wanted a girl but after that week I just wanted a normal healthy baby! The sex just didn’t make any difference to me any more. I was nervous…

I still remember the delivery table and the final push when I was exhausted and with a shaking voice I asked my doctor is it a girl? And he said yes and I screamed with joy! And couldn’t stop telling myself WOW! it’s a girl, it’s a girl as I held my nervous first time father, husbands hand.
I truly thought at that moment that ya, maybe god does give you what you ask for!

Soon after I delivered a lot many people came by and consoled me don’t worry you can try again and it may be the next time around it would be a boy or would subtly put it good now with a boy the next time it will be a complete family.

As days went by and I strolled in the garden with my daughter in the pram, a neighbour came by and told me to try having my next baby after prescribed medication from a gynaec who can guarantee a son. Didn’t know you have guarantees for this as well! I just fail to understand if natures chosen something for you let it give you that don’t go against it.

I just heard all of it and wondered wow, we may want to believe that the world has changed but its not! And trust me it’s not an India phenomenon only. The western world also is partial to blue and the East, cannot comment on it at all cause the lives that the women are made to lead there, even I would wish anybody a boy. Cannot have any more women subjected to slavery any more.
So the world over, It’s blue all the way…

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My Best Friend

While the evenings get darker early in the so called winter(Bombay only gets fewer hours of light but where's the winter:() and as I sit back in the cab to get home unable to read, I realized how important is the 'phone' in our lives.

While I was busy catching with friends, work, parents, emails and obviously face book, all the moments that my phone had rescued me and given me company just quickly flew by my eyes. Either a boring party that I was attending alone where I finished meeting most people or was in between meeting 2 people or when you are early for a meeting.
At the parlour its the best time actually, or while traveling. The phone seems to come handy all the time. Its become less of a tool of communication and more of a companion. Its something that most people can't leave their homes without. You know all those celeb columns of what's in your bag or cant leave home without, the phone always makes it there!

Your best friend knows your calendar your notes your most intimate conversations. Almost a confidant. You also kind of love her and her appearance is of utmost importance to you. That's why you get the most fancy and expensive one then dress her up with a case or a few tassels.

It's also a cause for fights between a lot of couples today as the girl chats away and the guy possibly cant stop messing with it. Or those late nights when you suddenly wake up and cant put yourself back to sleep and unconsciously start checking your emails or start playing brick breaker or tetris.

Think about it when you forget something at home your lunch, a book, a file or your phone you get most restless when...




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